


Control Diary

by MoonlightVampiress



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M, Potential mpreg, Romance, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2019-12-30 08:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 37,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18311822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightVampiress/pseuds/MoonlightVampiress
Summary: Guaranteed love, acceptance, happiness?  What if you had the choice to have all of that?Cho Kyuhyun hadn't ever planned on using the gift his grandmother left him.  A gift from a woman who didn't believe love that came naturally ever survived.  A woman who had left Kyuhyun many things and included in those things was a very special journal.  It could allow his dreams to come true if he wanted it.Control Your Conquest.What if his dreams were to be controlled instead?  Could he write it?All these questions were answered when Kyuhyun felt he found the love of his life:  Kim Ryeowook.  Everything about the male screamed sex appeal and perfection.  The only problem:  Ryeowook didn't think Kyuhyun was worth his time.Kyuhyun doesn't want to use the journal.  It's not right. You shouldn't control someone if you want them to love you.  It just feels so wrong, but if Ryeowook would feel so right... wouldn't it be worth it?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story just came to me in the middle of the night. Seriously, it's 4 something in the morning where I am now.
> 
> I really have to sleep more.
> 
> Warnings
> 
> 1\. This is a Top!Ryeowook story which means Bottom!Kyu
> 
> 2\. This story will contain: m/m relationships (obviously) and probably mpreg due to the supernatural-ish elements.
> 
> Other Information
> 
> This story will update on Mondays. :)
> 
>  
> 
> I'll add to those if anything else comes up. Otherwise, please read and enjoy. The beginning is a bit slow. My apologies in advance.

This was it.  Kyuhyun could feel the overwhelming sense of death in the air and yet there was still some ray of light.   The 22-year-old college student knew that the time had come for his grandmother to pass on, but as he rounded the corner into her room, the sickly woman was merely sitting up in bed and humming softly to herself as she finished writing something and sent it with her lawyer.  The young man said nothing to him as he left the room to make sure all of his grandmother’s last wishes were in order.

“Kyuhyun, my precious grandson, how are you today?” she asked with a smile on her lips.

He gave her a smile in return as he sat at her bedside.  “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” he asked her as he took one of her frail hands in his own. 

A laugh left the elderly woman’s lips.  “No.  You shouldn’t be asking me that question.  We both know that it is my time, my beautiful grandson.  However, I have a few things I wish to tell you.” she said taking a very shaky deep breath.  “For starters, you know that I am leaving everything to you and don’t worry about it being contested, your parents don’t want their secrets coming out if they try.”

“Secondly, when I am gone, someone will come and seal off this room.  Call it an old woman’s crazy wish, but I feel as though I could watch over you from here and my spirit will need a very comfortable place to rest.” she told him laughing once more and she was happy when she saw him smile.  “I am so happy to see that smile on your face.”

She gently caressed his hand in hers.  “Naturally, this big old house might get lonely and thus feel free to have someone or even a few people move in here with you if you want.  All the servants and more will continue to get paid and everything will be handled according to my last will and testament.  Now finally, I want you to go out there and find your perfect prince.” she said trailing off as she looked at him.

Kyuhyun suddenly choked on air.  “W-What?  How could you be thinking of something like that at a time like this?  What if I like girls, huh, grandma?”

The old woman started cackling with laughter and continued to laugh even as she started coughing a bit.  “Oh yes, that is exactly what I needed before dying, a good laugh.” she said continuing to giggle even while Kyuhyun sat there pouting.  “I’m your grandmother.  I’ve been on this earth long enough to know that my grandson prefers hard muscles and a nice long c—“

“Grandma!”  Kyuhyun said blushing heavily.  He could not believe this was the conversation he was having with his grandmother on her deathbed.

“Hey, don’t grandma me.  Any guy would be lucky to deflower you and your damn near perfect butt. Ah, reminds me of my younger years, but as I was saying...  I’m sure everything will be fine, but I also know you want to find and fall in love with your perfect prince and that sounds great.  However, it’s a stupid thought.” She told him both amused and yet firm in her wording. 

“How is wanting to find love a stupid thought?  It’s not stupid.  It’s an amazing feeling and feels as though you are floating on air.  Love is amaz—“  Kyuhyun was cut off by his grandmother’s stern tone.

“No.  No it’s not. Now you listen to me, Kyu, and you listen carefully.  Love is something that can happen, but it is oh-so-fleeting.  When you find the person you love, take control of them and make them addicted to you.” she told him with a bright smile on her features.

Kyuhyun blinked as he looked at his grandmother.  “Control them?  Make them addicted?”

“Yes. Trap them.  Make it so they can’t live without you.  Do whatever you must, even murder, and trust me, you will not get caught.  All you have to do is write it in the journal that you will get after I pass.” the old woman said with a sweet smile as she looked at her darling grandson.

“Shouldn’t… Shouldn’t I want them to fall in love with me naturally?” Kyuhyun asked frowning and unsure about this whole journal thing.

Another raspy laugh came from the older woman.  “Only if you want to lose them.”

“Trust me Kyuhyun.  You can do whatever you wish in that journal.  Make them start to think about you, love you, get rid of your competition, even have their child if you so choose, and so much more. Don’t worry about it now. Trust me, you will want to use it even if it seems horrible right now.  I love you my precious grandson and soon you will have someone who loves you just as much.”  With those last words, she closed her eyes and passed away with a smile on her face.

Kyuhyun sat there crying silently and holding on to his grandmother’s cooling hand.  He had no intention of using the journal, but he remembered her words.   Would he ever end up wanting someone bad enough to use it to basically control them and force them to love him?  Kyuhyun sincerely hoped that he never would.


	2. First Look

Two years had passed since his grandmother’s passing and today was the day that he could say the nightmare was over.  In such a short time span, he had taken over his grandmother’s estate, finished an undergraduate degree, fixed up a few loose ends, and all of that while dealing with a lawsuit from his parents.   It hadn’t been the easiest time, but now he felt that he could finally breathe once more since the trial was over.

His grandmother hadn’t lied when she stated that they wouldn’t want their secrets coming out.  When the lawsuit had first been brought to his attention, Kyuhyun had been distraught and almost gave into their demands for a lot of the money and more that had been left to him.  It had unfortunately been a very dark period in his life, but how could it not be.  He had just lost his grandmother and had been trying to sort through everything with her funeral and his schooling being at the very top of the list.

Thankfully, his grandmother had expected such behavior from them and her lawyer, now his lawyer, had easily handled the situation from the first threats to this final appeal from them.  They hadn’t gotten one dime of her money and instead were working to clean up some rather embarrassing news that had been leaked out during the trial.  He partially felt bad for them, but at the same time, he wished they would have respected her wishes and paid attention to the advice of her lawyer when he advised them not to pursue the matter.

Rather than celebrate the victory and enjoying the end of the conflict, he was currently working on registering for the classes he needed to begin his higher degree program.  If he was going to go to school, then he wanted to have a mastery in the subject that he was dedicated to.  There was no point in stopping half way, or at least that was one of the many lessons that his grandmother had taught him.  With his signature still wet on the papers, he handed those over to the admissions officer before heading over to the cafeteria. 

There were about four hours before he was going to help out his friend at the bookstore.  He could just grab a sandwich and drink from here, before heading over to the lawyer’s office, and then off to the bookstore to essentially relax while covering the shift.   He walked in and immediately saw his friend and current roommate working behind the counter.  A slow smile appeared on his face as he walked over.  “Hey Heechul, work-study program again?” he asked picking out a sandwich and smoothie before moving up to the counter.

Heechul smiled at his younger friend and nodded. “Yes.  I will be a professional student at the rate I am going, but I made a promise to myself that I would finish my degree no matter what.” he said taking off his gloves and fixing a bit of his hair before ringing Kyu up.  “Did you finish your registration?”

“You know, I’d help you out with school so you don’t have to work so hard.  It wouldn’t bother me at all. I consider you as part of my family even if we aren’t blood related.” Kyuhyun told his friend as he pulled out his card swiping it.

A light, airy laugh came from Heechul’s lips.  “I know.  Trust me, there are times where I’d rather spend all my time worrying about a nice outfit, flirting with nearly everything that moves, and more, but you are already letting me stay with you, free of charge, and everything minus my personal items are pretty much paid for.  I wouldn’t feel right asking for help with school too.  No, this is something I will do on my own even if it takes me ten years to finish.”

Kyu nodded and just looked at him.  “Well, just so you know, the offer is still on the table.  I’ll be working at the bookstore for Leeteuk later.  I think he has a date or something, but I’m not sure.  It probably would have been good to ask him something like that before agreeing to cover it.  Just thought I’d let you know so you weren’t worried about why neither of us were home.”

When he turned around, he saw them.  No this wasn’t some love at first sight type of ordeal, but they were attractive.  There were three guys dressed similarly in variations of black and different hair colors.  The tallest in the group was the blonde with his smile that showed off his gums, but contrasted with his eyes that held a more serious like look in them.  The second tallest and also more in the back was a guy with silver and black hair, who simply smirked at whatever the one with gums had said.   Finally, the shorter one in front had black hair that looked a bit wet as though he had just come out of the shower. Each of them had to have a magic makeup artist at home for how amazing their eyeliner looked.

“The blonde’s name is Hyukjae, the silver hair is Sungmin, and the one with the black hair is Ryeowook.”  Heechul told him as he wiped down the counter.    “Before you ask, no I don’t know them.” He said effectively cutting off Kyu’s question.   “As for how I know their names, for starters, they always seem to have perfect eyeliner and I’ll admit, I’m a little jealous.  The main reason is that I am working here for the semester and thus I get to see pretty much everyone’s student IDs when they pay for food especially since most have meal plans.” 

Kyuhyun nodded.  “I wonder what they are like” he said as he turned back to Heechul who was adding more napkins to the dispenser now. 

“Isn’t this how every romance story starts?  You start wondering what they are like, then you can’t stop staring at them, then you focus on one of them, and eventually get closer and then have lots of babies?” Heechul asked as he started adding more straws to a container as well.

“Hey! I was just curious about them. I didn’t say I was going to start obsessively stalking them or something equally weird like that.”  he told Heechul feeling annoyed.

A soft chuckle came from his side.  “Well, we are oh-so-happy to hear that, but could you move so we could pay for our food?” came a rather amused and yet annoyed sounding voice. 

Kyuhyun turned to see the silver and black haired guy, Sungmin, looking at him and raising an eyebrow.  The one eye he could see was shining with mild annoyance and yet his tone still sounded mixed.  “Sorry.  I’ll see you later, Heechul.” he said and then turned away only to have a hand grab on to his arm.

“Don’t forget this.  You paid for it, so you might as well eat it instead of wasting it.” Ryeowook said handing him the bag and then just turning back around to pay for his food and going to sit somewhere with the other two.

“Um…. Thanks.” Kyu said grabbing his food and then running off to get to the bookstore. 

~*~

Leeteuk was pacing back and forth in the place wondering where Kyuhyun was.  He knew that the other had to register for classes and most likely stopped to see Heechul before he left.  One could only hope that his other two roommates hadn’t gotten into some long conversation that would take hours, not when he had a date today. 

_Are you sure you don’t want to cancel your date?_

He stopped his thoughts right there.  It wasn’t that he was nervous about the date, but he worked in a bookstore and for some reason people tended to gossip between the aisles.  It was like they never expected the quiet, bright, store owner to ever really pay attention to their conversations.   Of course, he wasn’t always eavesdropping on conversations, but this one had caught his attention.

_“….yeah he’s amazing in bed I tell you, but apparently he has a date tonight.”_

_“Oh? With who? What could be more important than spending time with you?”_

_“I don’t know.  He claims he likes this guy, but he claimed that before.”_

_A laugh sounded after that.  “You know Henry.  It’s probably some guy that he picked up or something. He seems to enjoy messing around with them and…”_

The rest of the conversation didn’t seem to reach his ears.  Of course, they couldn’t be talking about the same guy that he had a date with later.  First, there had to be a lot of people named Henry in this world. Secondly, it would be the weirdest coincidence if they were indeed talking about the same guy.  Still, the feeling that it could be and that he was just being played for a fool stuck in his mind.

_This is ridiculous Leeteuk.  Keep yourself together.  It will be fine.  It –_

His thoughts were cut off by the sound of the bell at the front door.   Leeteuk looked up to see Kyuhyun rush in and give him an apologetic smile.  “Sorry.  I got distracted when I went to grab a bite to eat and found out Heechul was working in the cafeteria this semester.” he apologized bowing a bit.

“You are being oddly respectful today with the bowing and all.  Did you really get side-tracked by Heechul or did you end up flirting with some guy and decided to blame it on Heechul?” he asked raising an eyebrow.   To be honest though, he had never seen Kyuhyun date anyone seriously or really at all and they were roommates.

A short laugh left Kyuhyun’s lips.  “I don’t have time for dating right now, besides no one seems to interest me as much as they are interested in my money.” he said sighing as he ran his hand through his brown hair. 

Leeteuk instantly felt bad for even suggesting it.  “Sorry.  I know it’s a bad subject and I shouldn’t have brought it up.  Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll find someone.  Thanks for watching the shop for me today. You know where everything is and just put the keys in my bin at home.  Got to run!” he said as he looked at the time and then rushed out of the book shop to hurry and get ready for his date.

Kyuhyun shook his head and then went to sit behind the counter.   It was later in the day and so there wouldn’t be a lot of people coming in to buy books.  He wasn’t even sure why Leeteuk had wanted to start this shop so much.  With everyone pretty much moving to digital forms of media, it seemed like business suicide to have something that didn’t match the times, but surprisingly a lot of people seemed to still prefer actual books for print besides college students looking for text books.

After a few hours, Kyuhyun was sitting around playing on his phone sending messages to Heechul and eating the rest of the food he had gotten earlier.  The little bell on the shop door went off and in walked the one Heechul had referred to as Hyukjae.   Kyuhyun quickly wiped his mouth.  “Welcome to Leeteuk’s Book Shop. Can I help you find anything today?”

“Your phone number?” Hyukjae said with a bit of a smirk. 

Kyuhyun blinked.  He was used to people hitting on them, but they usually were a lot subtler about it.   “W-What?”

A ‘disappointed’ sigh left Hyuk’s lips before he just chuckled.  “Don’t worry about it.  You aren’t my type, but you do have adorable reactions to being teased.  I’m actually here because my science elective’s teacher decided that there needed to be a project due on the first day of class and I am in the mood to buy a few romance novels.”

The brown-haired male looked up at the blonde and nodded before he laughed at his own silliness and directed Hyukjae to where the books were.  After that, he went back to texting Heechul and eating until Hyukjae was ready to check out.  About twenty minutes later, he looked up from his phone having finished eating a few moments prior.   He made a startled movement as he noticed the black-haired guy – what was his name – Ryeowook staring at him with his lips pressed into a line.

Quickly, he got up and put his phone down.  “Sorry.  I didn’t hear you come in.  Welcome to Leeteuk’s Book Shop.  Is there anything I can help you find?” he asked feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Hyukjae.  He came in here and I’ve been waiting in the car for quite a bit.  I know he sometimes loses himself in books so if you can tell me what he was looking for, then I can find him on my own.” Ryeowook said looking at him.

Kyuhyun blinked as he thought it over.  “He needed some books for science and said he wanted to get some new romance novels or something like that.” he said as he was pretty sure that is what the other had come in for.  He looked back into Ryeowook’s eyes resisting the urge to squirm under the intense stare and hoped that the other would turn to find his friend.

Ryeowook didn’t drop his gaze.  “Hm.  Thank you….”

“Kyuhyun.  Cho Kyuhyun.”  he answered ignoring how quickly he answered and the slight change in pitch that he had.

His change in pitch caused black eyes to narrow only slightly before they relaxed.  The shorter male gave him a nod to confirm he heard it and to reaffirm his thanks before Hyukjae came up with quite a few books, as in over 20, and he was pretty sure only four of them were actually for school subjects. “I want to get all these.”

Kyuhyun nodded and then rang him up.  It was a welcomed reprieve to those intense, dark eyes.  Once he finished, he told them both thanks for stopping by and was about to sigh in relief when his hand was tapped.   He looked back up into those eyes that had made him want to squirm from before and could feel a light blush trying to appear on his cheeks.

“Don’t even try it.” Ryeowook said softly and gave him a small smile before he left with his friends.

Kyuhyun watched them leave and then went and locked the door.   It was closing time since the book shop was never open super late into the evening and went about cleaning up everything so that Leeteuk could open the next day.  As the broom swept across the floor, Kyuhyun was curious about Ryeowook’s words.  What wasn’t he supposed to try?

What was up with them all anyway?  Were they related or just really close friends?  Heechul’s words about how most romance novels started were in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t help his curiosity.  Even though he hadn’t spoken much to any of them, based on his first impressions, Sungmin was a bit bitchy at least based on his earlier annoyed amusement.  Hyukjae seemed really happy and seemed to like making people feel off of their guard.

Ryeowook.

The other seemed so calm and seemed to have this attitude like he didn’t care to really deal with people.  Those eyes seemed to see right through him and made him so uncomfortable.  He wasn’t even sure why they did that.  It was almost like they were trying to pull the very thoughts from his mind or maybe he was just ridiculously nervous for no reason.   He shook his hair and finished the things he needed to do to close the shop before finally leaving.

His mind kept flashing back to those eyes and he sighed.  Kyuhyun told himself that he was just curious and Ryeowook was attractive which probably fueled more of his curiosity.  Maybe they had a class together so he could talk to him a bit more.  A conversation with him might dispel this curiosity and he could go back to worrying about other things.  His thoughts flashed to the journal and he shook his head.  There was no way he would use that thing and he was definitely not so desperate as to use it to have a simple conversation with some guy.   Once he got to his car, he put on some music and drove home wondering if Heechul made any food and how Leeteuk’s date was going.


	3. Something

Leeteuk had arrived at the restaurant a bit earlier than he would have normally.  It wasn’t that he wasn’t a trusting person, but the conversation in his shop had stayed on his mind.  While it shouldn’t have mattered, he preferred to be more cautious than carefree in situations like this.  On one hand, he could just be paranoid and his early arrival to his date wouldn’t be seen as anything more than wanting to be punctual.   On the other hand, the conversation could have had some truth to it and that would be something that he might end up discovering.

 _I’m acting like some insecure guy in his first relationship.  Henry said he preferred older men for their maturity when forming meaningful relationships.  Maybe I should --_  
  
The bookshop owner frowned as he looked up into the open curtains of the restaurant and saw exactly what he feared that he would.  Henry was sitting and having dinner with the woman from the bookshop.  At first glance, it could seem like the younger male had simply met a friend, but no one could mistake the easily seen press of lips and, from this angle, the hand sliding up and down the woman’s thigh.  Leeteuk felt disappointment and anger welling up in his chest, and before he knew it, he was standing in front of the host of the restaurant.

He hadn’t even realized he was standing there and staring through her until she tapped her pen impatiently on the podium in front of her.

“Can I help you sir?  We have a strict no loitering policy on the premises and so if you don’t have a reservation, then I am going to have to ask you to leave.” she said almost glaring at him as though he didn’t belong here.

Leeteuk opened and closed his mouth several times in what seemed to be an imitation of a fish out of water.   He wasn’t sure what the proper response would be to this situation. Could he simply just say he was here to meet Henry or would that make the situation worse?   The woman in front of him seemed to get even more annoyed and he could tell she was about to call for security to escort him from the building.  “I…  well… I…”

“He’s with me.” A male said from behind him before moving forward and speaking with the woman at the podium.     
  
Leeteuk looked to his side as the guy smiled at the hostess who seemed to be more accommodating than she had been several minutes prior.  The man was wearing a nice black suit and his voice was sweet yet deep.  The more standout features of the man were his silver hair with a bit of black in the front and the rather professionally sexy application of eyeliner around his eyes.  Leeteuk had looked up realizing that he had missed the man’s name as they were led to a table in a slightly darker corner.  

Rich crimson and soft gold curtains were behind his seat, a seat that gave him a perfect view of Henry with that woman.  Leeteuk could feel the hurt that came from the rejection and looked down before looking over at the man who had just ordered a bottle of wine.   Was this man thinking to get him drunk and then take this much further than he had planned?  Technically, he didn’t plan this, but it was still a worry that he had.  Sleeping with random strangers had never been something that he was into.  “W-Wait… I… I…” Leeteuk started about to give some excuse about drinking right now.

The male turned his head towards him with two fingers in an almost sideways ‘v’.  “You what? Don’t drink?” he asked as his lips curved up in a half-amused smirk.  “I don’t plan to get you drunk or anything.  You just looked so lost and like a kicked puppy, but also attractive and so I decided to help you out as opposed to you getting dragged out.  Who’s the guy?”

“How do you know it’s a guy?” Leeteuk asked feeling slightly embarrassed by his earlier actions.  “It could be a woman.”

Melodic laughter came from the male’s lips.  “A woman with the way you were assessing my looks before we were given our table?  I doubt it.   My name is Sungmin by the way.  I figured you were too busy _assessing_ to actually hear my name.”

A sigh left Leeteuk’s lips as he looked at the male in front of him.  “My name is Leeteuk.  His… His name is not important.  Needless to say, I was supposed to meet him at this very restaurant for a date.  We’ve been talking for a while and this was our first, more official date. I had heard a small rumor and admittedly came here earlier than expected only to see him eating a meal with and making out with a woman.”   He had no idea why he was opening up to a stranger, this Sungmin, in the same restaurant that Henry had yet to leave with the woman he was currently playing ‘pass the air’ with, but it felt liberating.

The waiter came back and poured them both a glass of red wine before looking to take their orders.  A blush spread over Leeteuk’s cheeks as he realized belatedly that he hadn’t even glanced at the menu.  Before the waiter could even respond with so much as a hint of irritation, Sungmin easily ordered for both of them and smiled at the waiter when he walked away.

“You are really not used to these situations, are you?” he asked Leeteuk referring to the uncertainty and nervousness that the male in front of him displayed in this place.  “No need to answer.  It is clearly written on your face and don’t worry about paying, I’ll take care of it.  Now back to the problem that led me to be your dinner company for the evening.  From what you told me, you’ve met one of those damn closet fuckers.”

Leeteuk coughed managing to keep all but a few droplets of wine from leaving his lips.  He hadn’t been expecting the language from the rather nice, almost elegant male, and how the hell did ‘closet fuckers’ even sound remotely elegant and nice anyway?  The bookshop owner was almost positive that his current thoughts were due to his less than pleasant evening and because Sungmin was his type.  “I… I’m sorry, what?”

Sungmin smirked at his reaction and simply sipped his wine looking somewhat neutral once more.  “A closet fucker.  They are these types of men that are, for all intents and purposes, completely straight, but every once in a while they decide to try out the pleasures of the forbidden.  When this happens, they find sweet, unsuspecting men and lure them into bed.   Most of them are just charismatic and their ‘hunt’ ends the same day it begins, and then others are like the male you were supposed to meet.  These ones tend to find temporary connections and then exploit them until they get their ultimate goal of sleeping with the male.   It typically happens on the first ‘official’ date even though they’ve been talking/dating for some time now.” he said looking up and giving Leeteuk an intense stare.  “You’ve been honest this far, tell me, did you plan to sleep with him tonight?”

Heat rose to Leeteuk’s cheeks as he had planned to perhaps seal their relationship with sex tonight.  He had felt as though he knew all there was about Henry, yet he held back for this exact fear.  “I did.” He whispered while getting lost in Sungmin’s gaze.

The next few moments were silent before a slight smirk appeared on Sungmin’s face once more.  “Well, I guess I am your hero then.”

After Leeteuk felt his heart calming down and his blush disappearing from the spoken words, he smiled.  “Yes, I suppose you are.”

~*~

The rest of the evening had progressed beautifully with both Sungmin and Leeteuk getting to know each other.   Henry had never even known Leeteuk was there and sent a message stating that he wouldn’t be able to make it to the restaurant not twenty minutes into his meeting with the new male.  Leeteuk offered to drive Sungmin back home since he found out that the other had lent his car to a friend and was shocked to see that Sungmin didn’t live too far from him, but only a block or two over, and that he planned on walking.

After everything that Sungmin had done for him that evening, he wasn’t going to let him walk, but Sungmin insisted stating that it was for the best.  That was how they both ended up outside of his best friend Kyuhyun’s home that he was living in and saying their goodbyes.   For Leeteuk, it was a bit awkward as he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do in this situation.  It hadn’t been a date, but it felt more like one than he would have had with Henry this evening.

“I… Are you sure you don’t want me to reimburse you for the meal or take you to your house?” Leeteuk asked still feeling a little bad that Sungmin had paid for not only the expensive meal, but dessert as well.

Sungmin chuckled.  “You are much too cute.  Trust me when I say I don’t want reimbursed and I am perfectly fine walking home on my own.  I told you that I didn’t want anything from you, but since you are being so adorable about the whole thing…” Sungmin moved and lightly pressed his lips against Leeteuk’s. “It was a rather pleasant evening.  Be more careful about who you choose to date next time.” he said and then turned and walked away. 

Leeteuk stood there and blinked several times before going into the house.  It was only here that he allowed himself a small smile at how much he had actually liked the gentle kiss.  He removed his coat and shoes before making it up to his room to shower and sleep for the next day.

~*~

When Sungmin returned to his home, he was greeted by the sight of Ryeowook baking and Hyukjae reading what seemed to be another trashy romance novel.  He removed his outer articles of clothing leaving on his pants, underwear, and socks before heading to the sink and washing his hands in salt water.  With clean hands, he picked up a flavorless, tasteless, odorless lip balm and rubbed it over his lips changing the plain chapstick into one more reminiscent of Leeteuk’s special, underlying flavor. 

“Where were you, Sungmin?” Ryeowook asked in a low tone that made Hyukjae suddenly sit up and pay attention.

The silver haired male closed his eyes.  “I was out walking and happened to see some poor guy who had just been cheated on by his date around my favorite restaurant. So I treated him to dinner.” he said evenly as he looked at Ryeowook and the other’s posture. 

A glass vial was slammed on to the table in the next instant and was filled with an oil black liquid.  “Drink it.” Ryeowook ordered him in a tone that brokered no argument.

Sungmin kept his eyes on Ryeowook and took in the liquid. “Better?” he asked having never dropped his gaze.

Ryeowook’s face relaxed a little more and he nodded. “Much better.  Still, you should be more careful, Sungmin.“

“I’m not the one who needs to be careful, Ryeowook.”  Sungmin said and Ryeowook simply sighed.

“Yes… I know.”

~*~ The Next Day ~*~

Kyuhyun made it to the dining room to see his friends already sitting down and eating breakfast.  He looked over and saw Leeteuk smiling and breathed a sigh of relief.  It wasn’t that he didn’t like nor trust Henry, but it had taken quite a while for them to have their first official date.  With Leeteuk sitting here and smiling, he figured that his fears had been unfounded.   “Morning.  How did your date go last night?” he asked taking a seat and putting food on his plate. 

Leeteuk looked down at his plate a moment and stared at it.  “Well, I will say that it didn’t go as it was supposed to go.  Henry was there with a woman and they were rather close, as in kissing close.  However, some guy bought me dinner and didn’t want anything in return.  I have to admit he was rather attractive, but I don’t think much will come of that.  When I came back here, he just told me to be careful with who I date in the future.”

The youngest of the three males gave Leeteuk a sympathetic look.  “How are you holding up after seeing that?  I know you guys had been talking for a bit before it got to the dating stage.”

Laughter suddenly erupted from Leeteuk causing Heechul and Kyuhyun to look at him with concern.  “Don’t look so concerned.  I’ll admit that I was upset at first, but really the guy who ended up helping me out of that embarrassing conversation also helped me realize that Henry wasn’t really worth my time.  I can’t say I didn’t have my doubts, but I figured I was just being paranoid since he hadn’t done anything.  I’m ok though so no need to worry.  Do you have classes today?”

Heechul sipped his orange juice.  “Yeah.  I have an introduction into the new lab today and Kyuhyun’s one music professor is having them come in because he wants an assignment done by the end of the week and wants to give them their pairs.”

A sigh left Kyuhyun’s lips.  “I do hope that he at least assigns good pairs, or I get a good partner.  I already have a song for it and so I hope that my partner will just work with me, sing it, and we can pass this first assignment with no issues.”  
  
“Don’t be like that Kyu.  College is supposed to be a time of getting to know other people and such.  If you want to work in music in any capacity, you need to learn to work with people.” Leeteuk said giving him an encouraging smile.  “Besides, you can’t expect your partner to see your vision for the song if you are just going to keep it in your head.  You need to be able to express your vision to them.” he said and then got up from the table.   “I’ll be home for dinner tonight.  The book shop closes earlier than usual today since I don’t get a lot of business, but I need to go.  See you guys later.”

“We’ll be heading out soon.  Have a good day, Leeteuk.”  Heechul said as the other left.

Kyuhyun said his goodbye to Leeteuk and then turned to Heechul raising an eyebrow.  “You know you could just ask him out or well something.   If anything, show him what a proper date would be like?” he said teasing slightly before biting into his bagel.

Heechul started coughing at Kyuhyun’s words.  “For starters, I don’t like him like that and no this isn’t some romance movie where I am hiding some deep dark secret of undying love.  Secondly, there is someone I’ve had my eye on recently, but I’ve already decided that nothing will come of that.” he said pushing eggs around his plate.

“You are giving up before you even try to ask that guy out?” Kyuhyun said blinking.  “Why? I bet whomever you actually have a crush on would love a chance to date you.  You and Leeteuk are great people.  I can’t believe either of you are still single and not gracing these halls with a significant other, which I would also let live here if they were good to you guys.   It would be less empty.”

“Kyuhyun… it will be ok.  You will find someone as well.  I am not sure why she left you this big of a house, servants, and all just for you, but it will be ok.  You are a great guy too, you know.  One day, you will find that special someone.” Heechul said encouraging.

Kyuhyun flashed him a smile.  “Thanks.   Sorry, I guess I’ve just been thinking of things like that a lot lately after seeing everything my parents-“

“NO!  Those assholes are not your parents, Kyuhyun.  No parents would take advantage of their child’s weak and emotional state for a payday.   I know that part of you still cares because they did bring you into this world, but they also didn’t give you proper time to grieve for the woman who treated you like her own son.  Focus on the positive please.” Heechul said before getting up and pulling him into a hug.  “Now come on and let’s get to school. One of us at least has to finish.”  Heechul flashed him a grin as he got up.

The younger male began laughing more.  “By the time you graduate, my great grandkids will have finished college.”   They both started laughing as they left the house.

~*~

The classroom only had three other people in it when Kyuhyun arrived.   According to the whispers he had heard upon entering, they weren’t even going to have class for that long.   It would simply be to get their partners and then begin to work on their projects.  Many of the students had already reserved music rooms for that exact purpose, including Kyuhyun, who had reserved one of the rooms with a piano in it. 

He started going over the song and the notes of the song making changes when necessary to the music. A quick glance at his watch told him that the professor should be there in the next five minutes and all he had to do was hope he got someone musically inclined.  As much as he believes in Leeteuk’s words, he really didn’t want to have to fully explain his vision.  Music should be about what someone felt and not what someone was pretending to feel.  No one wanted to listen to someone sing when that person didn’t seem connected to the song.  The song in front of him was based on a book and even if the person had never read the book, he hoped that they would be able to truly deliver on the song.  Was that really too much to hope for?

The dropping of books on to the table in front of him made him jump.  The professor was sitting there and looking over each and every one of them.  Kyuhyun hadn’t even realized that the classroom had filled up while he was focusing on the music he had.   He looked up to pay attention to what the professor was saying but it was simply about the performance he expected by the end of the week.  There had to be singing, visual, and instrumental.  He would be grading them on their performance and how well both parties presented the song even if they just had one person singing and one person playing.

After that, Kyuhyun tuned out again as the professor started handing out papers about the assignment and who their partners would be.  He wasn’t too worried about his partner as he started going over the song once more.  Kyuhyun didn’t want to get caught up in everyone shuffling around and leaving with their partners, and that’s why he jumped again when his partner hit the table he was writing on with a notebook.

“Come on.  We need to practice.” came the other’s person’s voice.  It sounded resigned and yet accepting. 

It sounded really familiar even though he hadn’t heard it that much.

Kyuhyun turned his head and looked up from where he was sitting to see the intense look at as of yet had not failed to make him blush.   _Ryeowook._

Ryeowook stood there staring down into Kyuhyun’s eyes.  “Let’s go, Kyuhyun.” he said staring into the younger male’s eyes before turning and leaving to the classroom.

The blush continued to stain Kyuhyun’s cheeks as he grabbed his things scrambling after Ryeowook.


	4. Partners

It had been a few hours since Leeteuk had opened up the bookshop and as usual business was typically slower first thing in the morning.   His customers had consisted of a few ladies looking for new material for their book club in which he more than happily assisted them.   During his down time, he managed to finish up his book keeping, place a few book orders for some of his customers that called in, and paid all of his obligations.

A sudden buzz made Leeteuk look at his phone and realize that he had several messages from Henry.  He hadn’t answered a single one since last night, and he still wasn’t sure what to do about that whole situation.   If he was honest with himself, he supposed their first meeting and any subsequent communication after had seemed rather strange.  

It had started with simple idle chatter about various topics like ‘how was your day’ or ‘how is business going’ or ‘do you have this new book in’.   The conversations had evolved to be more personal with topics including hobbies, likes and dislikes, future plans, personal ideals, past relationships, and even more intimate topics including personal tastes in partners both in public and not.   They had gone out before last night, but those meetings were not ‘official’ dates.  The whole idea of it hadn’t even made sense, but by that point, Leeteuk had figured they really liked one another.

Images from last night hadn’t left his mind either and that was another reason why he wasn’t answering any of Henry’s calls and texts.  All he could see in his mind was his _supposed_ boyfriend kissing some woman and then texting him to tell him how he was busy.   Leeteuk briefly wondered what would have happened if he made a scene in the whole place and went over there slapping Henry across the face.  He already knew what would have happened if he had never overheard that conversation.

The bookshop would have opened later because he might have actually slept with the bastard and wanted to spend some of the morning together.   His eyes opened and he looked up to the ceiling.  Of course, all of the angry emotions from that seemed to melt away as he thought of his savior of that evening.  Where did that Sungmin even come from and to already have reservations, he must have been someone important.  Why had that guy decided to help him?

 _Better question is why did he decide to kiss you,_ Leeteuk’s mind supplied as said male blushed at the remembrance of that peck.

Leeteuk was brought out of his musings as he heard the bell of the door.  He got up and turned with a bow.  “Welcome to Leeteuk’s B—“ he said as he looked up and saw who it was.  The shop owner frowned when he saw Henry standing there with a box of chocolates and beautiful red and white roses.  “What are you doing here?” he asked before he could stop himself.

“Well I had to cancel our first official date due to some sudden business, and so I wanted to make it up to you.”  Henry said with a smile on his lips.

_Fake._

It was the only word that Leeteuk could think to use to describe the smile that he was currently receiving from the guy whom he had once considered as more than just a potentially casual fling.  Why wouldn’t he have after all of their conversations and everything they had in common?  “I… I don’t think that you should be here right now.”

The smile on Henry’s face dropped as he moved closer to the counter and placed the candy and flowers down.  “What’s wrong, Leeteuk?  You used to love when I came to visit like this and now you are telling me that I shouldn’t be here right now?” he asked looking at him.

_Oh.  Apparently, he isn’t always smiles when he is around me.  Another lie._

_Is this the look that he gives his business competitors or employees when they do something he doesn’t like?_

“There is a lot wrong, Henry.” Leeteuk said calmly even with the faster beating of his heart.  It felt threatening and yet not at the same time.  “I don’t feel like talking about it right now.  Besides, I am sure we both had rather enjoyable nights without each other.”  
  
Henry moved closer to Leeteuk and touched his face.  “Oh?  What are you talking about?  I had to work all night.” he said looking at him with a serious and yet seemingly hurt expression.  “I didn’t think you were the type of cheat on someone.  Who were you with?”

_How can you have such a serious look on your face when you know that you were the one who cheated on me?_

Leeteuk opened his mouth to speak, but he was beat to the punch as Henry’s hand was removed from him. 

Sungmin simply pushed the businessman away from the book shop owner.  “He was with me and you must be Henry.  I almost didn’t recognize you without your tongue down that woman’s throat.”

Henry was at first annoyed and then he was both annoyed and irritated once Sungmin’s words sunk in.  He didn’t need someone messing up his usual game plan.  “Who are you?”

“Who I am is irrelevant.   What is relevant at this very moment is that you are here harassing Leeteuk and accusing him of cheating when he got to watch you act like an untrained puppy getting ready to hump the first thing that got its attention.” Sungmin said with his eyes narrowed as the male in front of him.  “I am not even sure how you still own your business with such sloppy relationship mistakes.”

The two men glared at one another before Henry felt his phone vibrate, checked it, and put it back into his pocket.  “I need to get going.  We can talk about this later, Leeteuk.  I am sure this is all just a huge misunderstanding.”

“He’s right, Leeteuk, it is all a huge misunderstanding.   You had misunderstood him and thought he was a nice, single, respectable businessman.” Sungmin said feeling Leeteuk stiffen a bit behind him, but was still focused on Henry as his eyes narrowed even further.   “And he… he is misunderstanding the fact that you are not his to explain things to anymore and I’m not nice enough to let him try.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Henry asked feeling his irritation rise towards the male in front of him.

Sungmin stared directly into his eyes and Henry flinched at the intensified glare combined with the eyeliner the other seemed to be wearing.  “What it means is that you are going to leave here and quit playing games with him. I’ve seen your type many, many times, Henry.  Straight guys that like to have fun with gay guys before going back to their cushy little lives and not caring about those they destroy in the process.  It’s always nice to make someone like you suffer.”

Henry didn’t have a chance to say anything else as he was pushed out the door with the flowers and candy he had brought.   When he was outside, he whirled around to see the other male in front of him.  “Wait.  Did you just threaten me back there?” he asked sizing up the male in front of him.

A smile appeared on Sungmin’s lips but there was no warmth or anything in that smile.  In truth, it sends shivers down Henry’s spine. They stood outside on a comfortably warm, sunny day, and yet for Henry it felt rather cold.  “No.  I didn’t threaten you.” he said and watched as Henry just tossed the gifts in the nearby trash and walked away.   He waited until the other had gotten a bit further before calling him again.  “Oh Henry~”

Henry turned towards the other male and only lifted an eyebrow in response that he was listening. 

Sungmin came up by the male and whispered.  “I know that you were actually starting to get some feelings for him, even if you have girlfriend, but I wanted to tell you not to worry.  I’ll take _really_ good care of him.” he said and pulled back with a smirk before schooling his features and went back into the book shop.

~*~

Leeteuk hadn’t quite been sure of what was going on with the exchange.  At first, he was trying to not get upset by Henry’s accusation that he was cheating.  He had never cheated on someone in his life and as far as he was concerned, their relationship was over the moment he saw him kissing that woman.  However, he never got to say anything like that to the businessman. 

No.

Instead, Sungmin had appeared out of nowhere and came to his rescue yet again.  How had the other known Henry was going to show up then?  There was no way that he could have known that, but then why was Sungmin here.  The way last night had ended, he was pretty sure that the other had just been acting a good Samaritan as opposed to actually finding interest in him.

_Oh? If that was all it was, then why did he seem to indicate to Henry much differently?_

“Are you alright, Leeteuk?  You’ve been spaced out for a little while now.” Sungmin said breaking the other out of his thoughts as he looked at him.  He met Leeteuk’s gaze and stepped a bit closer.  “Did you want to take him back?”

Something was there, but Leeteuk couldn’t place it.  The silver-blacked haired male’s voice seemed to have concern and a hint of guilt in it, but something else.  Whatever it was, it felt a bit disingenuous to him and yet truthful at the same time.  “N-No.  I was just thinking things over.  I’m happy that he’s gone now.” Leeteuk said avoiding asking about the conversation between the two men for now.

Sungmin studied him for a few moments and then smiled lightly.  “If you are sure, but trust me when I say that he will most likely try to make you forget what you saw.  Don’t let him.”

A short laugh left Leeteuk’s lips.  “I am almost positive that if he was to come after me again, you’d find some way to show up.  I am not even sure if you did it on purpose or if it was simply pure coincidence because I was thinking of the –“  He stopped before he finished that sentence and a rosy tint took hold of his cheeks.  How could he say what was exactly on his mind in front of his essential ‘savior’ from his bad relationship with Henry?  He never thought he was a such a chatterbox before.

Pop.

Sungmin opened the cap to a tube of plain chapstick and watched Leeteuk as he put a bit on his lips.  He closed it and never turned his gaze away as he placed the cap back on with an audible click before going over to Leeteuk.   “You were thinking of that quick kiss in front of your house?  You don’t need to say anything. It’s written all over your face.” Sungmin said leaning in a little.  “Do you want another one, Leeteuk?”

His mind went blank and all he could do was nod as though he were in a trance.  
  
Lips curved into a sexy, almost devilish little smile.  “Well, then who am I to say no.” he asked before he placed his hand on Leeteuk’s shoulder forcing him down into the chair behind the counter.  He gently touched his face and then pressed their lips together. 

It was all the kiss was before a tongue glided over his lips.  Leeteuk’s lips parted allowing Sungmin’s tongue to slip inside and deepen the kiss.  The softest moan of approval left his lips as the kiss intensified sealing the air from their mouths between one another, and everything melted away.

As Sungmin pulled away, he looked at Leeteuk’s flushed cheeks with those lips slightly parted and the male’s eyes were closed.  “Beautiful…” he whispered as he put his mouth close to his ear. “And now you’ll always taste me, no matter who kisses you.  See you later tonight, Leeteuk.”

When Leeteuk fully came to focus, it had been maybe twenty minutes later and he was incredibly thankful that the door to the shop was locked.  As he reopened the shop, he couldn’t help but wonder what on earth that was about and why he felt so drained and out of it from a single kiss.

~*~At the University~*~

Kyuhyun had followed Ryeowook out of the classroom and kept a very small distance from the other man, yet he was still walking behind him.  His thoughts were focused on the strange male who had managed to capture his attention and wondered if they would be able to work well together on this project.  Would they share the same love for music or could their visions merge?  What were Ryeowook’s visions anyway?

“You shouldn’t stare so much.  It makes people uncomfortable and makes you seem rather unfocused.” Ryeowook said without even looking behind him.  “If you are just going to be unfocused then this practice might go even faster.  Just listen to what I have to say and it should be quick and easy.  You can sing, right?”

Kyuhyun blinked several times and then opened his mouth before closing it.  “I can, but I had planned to play as opposed to actually singing.  I already have a song ready and everything.  All you would need to do is be able to carry a tune and it should be fairly easy.”

Lips were pressed into a thin line as Ryeowook continued walking until he finally stopped and opened a door.

It was only now that Kyuhyun remembered that he had reserved space for practicing today, and that he never told Ryeowook that he had.  “Hey, I forgot to tell you that I…”

“Reserved a space to practice for our project? I know.  This is the right room after all. It even says your name posted on the schedule on the door.” Ryeowook said sighing as he went over to the chairs in the room and placed his materials down.  Immediately, he went through his music folder pulling out the lyrics and sheet music for a song.  “Since you already have things prepared, then we will just go through both of them.  We can decide based on that unless you think your only useful skill is staring at me, which you are doing yet again.”  he said turning with his eyes narrowing once more.

A startled noise left Kyuhyun’s lips as he realized that he had indeed been staring yet again.  “I-I’m sorry.  It’s just… I… your eyes…” he tried to explain stumbling over his words and mentally facepalming.

Ryeowook looked him over and sighed.  “My eyes are not in the back of my head and so next time you want to create an excuse, then I advise you to think of a better one.  Here are the lyrics, the song is called ‘At Gwanghwamun’*.   I will play the melody through one time and on the second time you can sing it.   We will do the same with your selection and then figure out which one would be better to present.” he said and shoved the paper into Kyuhyun’s hands before taking the music over to the piano.  He sat down and played a few keys. “Are you ready?”

All Kyuhyun could do was nod his head and then read over the words as Ryeowook played.  He didn’t understand why he zoned out so much around the male in front of him.  By this point, Ryeowook probably had a more negative opinion of him.  How could he change that opinion?  The other seemed to be rather blank most of the time, but at other times, like last night, he had managed to see a small smile.   If he was being honest, he felt a bit intimidated, but he wasn’t sure by what.

This wasn’t going to help him to get closer to the mysterious male in front of him.  He needed to concentrate on the music that was being played for him.  The melody was really pretty and he wondered if Ryeowook had made any changes to the song before playing it for him.   He allowed himself to drift away into the notes as he hummed along with the composition and soon it was over.

“Now let’s hear you sing, Kyuhyun.”  Ryeowook said and without any other conversation began playing the melody once more.

Kyuhyun frowned slightly wishing that Ryeowook would have allowed him more time to go over the lyrics with the melody, but one look into those eyes and everything was lost once more.  He picked up the lyrics and started singing them fully aware that Ryeowook was glancing at him while he sang.  It was encouraging and made him want to try even harder than he had been to impress his talent on to the other’s mind.   His nervousness began to melt away and his vocals became much stronger before the song was over.

“Interesting.” Ryeowook commented, but not saying whether or not the singing had been good or bad or just needed some work to fully pull out the emotions of the piece.  “Your song?” he asked moving away from the piano.

The younger male blinked and nodded before going to his notebook and getting out the paper with the lyrics on it.   “Here.  It is a piece called ‘The Little Prince’* and for me the piece sym-“

“Just play it.” Ryeowook told him and then watched as Kyuhyun had placed his hands on the keys.  He looked at the lyrics as he just started singing without any music accompanying his voice.

Kyuhyun just stared at Ryeowook for the first maybe fifteen seconds before remembering that he was supposed to be playing the song and started to play it.  Not once did he look away from Ryeowook’s face while he watched him sing.   The uncomfortable feeling seemed to have come back in full force, but he could also feel himself almost falling into a trance like state as he watched him.  Every little note he had made on there was taken into consideration. 

Ryeowook’s voice filled the room and his mind in way that he couldn’t do it justice with mere words or actions.  His vocal control was amazing and Kyuhyun wondered where he had trained before coming to this college.  He had to have gone to some performing arts high school or perhaps he sang in a church setting.  Those singers were usually phenomenal and, in his opinion, could easily compete with some of the more nationally recognized singers.  
  
Once he heard such a beautiful high note, he almost stopped himself from playing the music.  It was just something that he couldn’t put his finger quite on.    Kyuhyun just continued knowing the song would be over and he almost wished that it could go on repeat.   Everything that he had envisioned was easily illustrated within the voice of the one who was currently occupying his thoughts.

“Wow…” he said with his mouth slightly open and in a whispery tone as he stared at Ryeowook.

The aforementioned male met Kyuhyun’s eyes and his own were sparkling a bit in the light.  He watched as Kyuhyun seemed to begin fidgeting as though his body was trembling with just a look from him. Ryeowook worried that this might happened and quickly brought Kyuhyun’s focus back to the music.  “I liked your voice when you performed the song.  It complimented the melody very well and it would be nice of you to sing it.  The reason I only said interesting before was because it was easy to tell how you drifted off into the song, but I wonder if you were holding back a bit.”

Kyuhyun shook his head and ran his hands through his hair as he refocused on the task at hand when Ryeowook spoke of the song he had sung earlier.   He needed to say something more eloquent about Ryeowook’s singing as well and he doubted the word ‘wow’ was good enough.  “It was good.” he said before cringing at his rather simple wording.   “What I mean is that I could just imagine you singing this as though the song was made for you.  Everything about it was amazing, and I love how you had started before you realized I hadn’t played the music.  Your vocals just instantly drew me in and I couldn’t help but hang on to every word you said.”

“You seem to have that problem even when I am talking.” Ryeowook pointed out but his words were accompanied by a small smile.  

The small smile made the embarrassment and fear of ridicule that had welled up in Kyuhyun’s chest dissipate almost immediately.   “I… well… sorry about that.  However, I think we should perform the song you were singing first, because both songs are really good and if there is another assignment like this one, then there is a high chance we will be paired together again.” he said to him.  Actually, he had no idea if there would be any more assignments like this.

There were only a few thoughts on Kyuhyun’s mind.  If there was an assignment similar to this one, then it there was the high probability that they would be put on a team again to see what they came up with.  This would give him yet another chance to spend time with Ryeowook, and maybe they would be friends or something by then.  They might be able to talk about anything and he could get lost in the intense gaze that seemed to permanently be a feature on Ryeowook’s face.

While in his dreamland, Ryeowook was looking at him and thinking things over.  There was a high probability of them being paired together again.  He hadn’t lied to Kyuhyun when he said he liked the tone and quality of his voice for the song picked.  It would only be natural that their professor would want them to continue to enhance each other’s talents as far as they could.  

“Fine.  I will sing the lyrics that you gave me.  We can keep the beginning as it is and allow you to have your moment of concentrating on anything else.   As for effects or something to add to our performance, I will think about it tonight and we can meet back here to go over them and practice the song a few times and potentially any suggestions that either of us have thought up.” Ryeowook said taking his things and the lyrics and putting them together.

“Are you leaving already?” Kyuhyun asked and the same issues with his pitch had come up like that night in Leeteuk’s Book Shop.  To be fair, he wasn’t entirely sure that he hadn’t been using that same time this entire time with the exception of when he was singing just a bit earlier.

“I need to get going. I have somethings to do later on and would like to take some time to spend on this.” Ryeowook told him as he made sure that he had everything. He picked up his things and started walking to the door.

“Coffee?” Kyuhyun asked after him.  “I mean, would you like to go get some coffee together and discuss our project?  If you don’t like coffee, how about smoothies or we could go to the caf-“ he stopped talking almost immediately when he saw Ryeowook seemed to freeze in front of him.

It felt like a small burst of air as Ryeowook turned around staring into his eyes and once more Kyuhyun felt exposed to the mystery that was surrounding his partner for class.  His heart began to beat a bit faster.  His breath couldn’t tell if it should be slow and labored or hitched as he subconsciously took a step a back.  What was this feeling?

The small smile appeared on Ryeowook’s face once more.  “Didn't I tell you… don’t try it.  You should listen, Cho Kyuhyun.  It’s for your own good.” he spoke softly before he showed a more serious expression. “Don’t be foolish and just accept what there is to accept.  It would be better for both of us, don’t you think?” he asked and once again left before Kyuhyun could answer.

A few moments passed and Kyuhyun groaned in frustration and barely stopped himself from screaming. “What the hell did he mean by that?  What did he mean by ‘it would be better for both of us’?” he asked out loud to the empty room.  What wasn’t he supposed to try?  

The first time that he had heard those words pass Ryeowook’s lips, he hadn’t been able to figure it out then either.   No words had been said nor has he expressed any intention to do anything the first time that he had heard them.   This time was only slightly different in the fact that he had asked the other if he wanted to go get something to drink or eat.   Nothing about his request could have indicated anything more especially when he specified that they could talk about the project.  Right?

Kyuhyun gathered up his things and blinked when he saw a piece of paper on the floor.  Oh great.  This _was_ turning into one of those moments like Heechul was always talking about.   He bent down picking it up and half expecting it to be Ryeowook’s phone number or something else just as cliché as that.  A cold shiver went down his spine as he touched it and grabbed it from the ground reading it.

_Bad Kyuhyun._

Kyuhyun felt even colder as though he could feel the smirk on the lips of whomever had written this.  Before he could react even further, the lights in the entire hall seemed to suddenly go out coating him in darkness.  He took a step forward knowing the emergency lights would be activated in the hallway and ended up tripping on to the ground.

When he looked, he knew he had to be dreaming as he heard humming like his grandmother used to do before she passed.  There was no way that his grandmother was here right now.  Kyuhyun looked towards where the sound would be, saw two small, red lights like eyes, and heard a scratchy voice only moments before he passed out in fear.

_Don’t do it!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The song "At Gwanghwamun" was Kyuhyun's solo debut song. The song "The Little Prince" was Ryeowook's solo debut song. They are going with Ryeowook's for their assignment this time. It is a mix of both my personal preference and because it fits in the grand scheme of the story.


	5. A Small Crack

Kyuhyun didn’t know how much time had passed when he opened his eyes.  The light from the room made him feel stings of pain as he tried to figure out his surroundings.  What happened after he passed out?  Where was he now? 

“You are in the college medical center.” Heechul said as he saw Kyuhyun was beginning to stir.  He moved and wiped his friend’s head off with a wet cloth as his body provided enough of a light shield to allow Kyuhyun to fully open his eyes.  “You didn’t seem like you needed to go to the hospital, but if you do, then I’ll take you. What happened?”

At the sound of his friend’s voice, Kyuhyun calmed down considerably.  “I… I don’t need to go to the hospital.” he said before hesitating.   He wanted to tell Heechul about the strange words that Ryeowook kept saying to him and then the apparition that made him pass out.  His only issue was whether or not Heechul would believe him.   Would he listen to his concerns or would he automatically call him crazy and never want to associate with him again?   Leeteuk and Heechul were both like family to him and he’d hate to lose them because of these hallucinations.

In fact, he had never even told them about half of the things his grandmother had said and done when she had passed.  A flash of those red, evil eyes and that disembodied voice sent shivers down his spine.  If he didn’t talk to someone, he might go crazy with trying to figure out what it was.  There was something wrong and he could just feel it, but he wasn’t sure what.   Heechul was older than him and maybe he could offer some insight on what was going on, but maybe so could Leeteuk.

To his credit, Heechul could tell that there was something on Kyuhyun’s mind, but he wasn’t going to push it.   Kyuhyun had always been good about talking when he was ready to talk.  If you tried to speak to him before then, you weren’t likely to get a good answer or even get to the bottom of the problem. It was frustrating to have to wait when curiosity continued to rear its ugly head, but he remained patient.  While he was waiting, he sent a text message to Leeteuk asking if he could close up shop a bit early and then explained what happened with Kyuhyun. A small laugh left his lips as he saw Leeteuk’s response and sent back a small quip in return.

“Sometimes, I am joking about it, but seriously you two seem to be so good together or at the very least more than friends.  I know you said you have someone that you have interest in, yet you seem to light up when you talk to him.   Have you realized that?” Kyuhyun asked having looked over during his mental dilemma on telling them.

“Hmmm… I realize a lot of things Kyuhyun.  Whether or not I wish to acknowledge them is an entirely different story.”  Heechul told him in a softer voice than Kyuhyun had ever heard causing the younger male to sit up and look at him.

“Heechul….” Kyuhyun said reaching out towards his older friend, but Heechul shook his head.

The older male simply looked up and smiled.  “I wasn’t lying when I said this currently wasn’t some romance novel in which I was harboring a deep, dark secret of love for him.  We are just friends and I’m fine with that.  Are you ready to get going?  He’ll be home earlier so that you can tell us what is going on.  We are worried about you, Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun just nodded as he watched Heechul.  He was once again experiencing that all too familiar feeling that he didn’t know what was going on and it was not something that he truly wished to get accustomed to.   Sliding off of the bed, he got up and slipped his shoes back on before grabbing his stuff.  The nurse stopped him for a moment to make sure he was alright, and then let him leave with Heechul.

Driving back to the house was in silence as Kyuhyun’s mind was trying to figure out how to explain everything that had been happening these past twenty-four hours to his friends.

~*~

When they made it into the house, Leeteuk was already there with snacks for them in the livingroom.  The eldest male in the house made sure to check over Kyuhyun again as if he hadn’t just spent a few hours in the medical center.  Kyuhyun kept reassuring Leeteuk that he was fine until the elder finally let him sit down so they could all talk.

Kyuhyun ran a hand through his hair as he sipped the glass of iced tea.  He was acutely aware of how they were staring at him and waiting for him to actually speak up.  How to begin what he was more than one hundred and ten percent sure would sound like insanity and a plea for help?  “I… well this… it is going to sound really crazy, but these past twenty-four hours, I’ve been kind of obsessing over someone that I’ve only known about since yesterday.”

“What’s so crazy about having a crush?” Leeteuk asked feeling as though he could relate to where Kyuhyun was coming from. He still wasn’t sure why he couldn’t stop thinking about Sungmin having only known of his existence since yesterday.

“That’s not the crazy part of this.  In fact, I am sure that is the only normal part of this entire story.”  Kyuhyun said before eating a couple chips.  He sipped his drink again before placing the glass down.  “Ever since I first saw this guy, Ryeowook, everything has been kind of weird.  He keeps saying cryptic things to me like telling me not to try something and how it would be better for the both of us if I didn’t.  Well the fates decided to pair us together in that class I went to today and he told me that again.  While I was trying to wrap my head around it all, the lights went off and I…..” Kyuhyun trailed off again and looked at them both and praying this went well. 

“I heard my grandmother’s humming, saw two red lights like eyes, and then a raspy voice screaming ‘Don’t Do It!’ at me before I passed out on the floor.” he finished and did his best to prepare to be called crazy.

Leeteuk looked at Kyuhyun a moment before humming slightly while Heechul pulled the other into a hug.  “Kyu, we aren’t going to think you are crazy so relax.  The past twenty-four hours have me completely thinking about this guy that showed up to save me from making a huge mistake with Henry.  He even came to the shop not long after Henry had interrupted my thoughts of him. The weirdest thing is that I don’t seem to be able to think when he’s speaking.  I always zone out in some way, shape, or form.  It’s so strange.  It is also strange that you keep getting cryptic words from this Ryeowook guy almost as though he senses something or can read your mind.”

“Or we can all stay in the realm of reality to the best of our ability.” Heechul suddenly blurted out and once more Kyuhyun felt something was off.   This wasn’t how Heechul normally was and in all honesty, it was beginning to worry him.  “Sorry, I’m not saying anything different happened and I do believe you.  Maybe his words are because he can tell that you have a crush on him and he wants to nip it in the bud before it goes any further.  Have you given him any indication that you were crushing on him?”

At these words, a blush spread across Kyuhyun’s cheeks.  “I may have the same issue as Leeteuk and that guy he was talking about. I seem to zone out when I talk to him and I end up staring at him.  Today, I asked him out for coffee, but I swear I would have kept the conversation on our project.”

A combined sigh was heard as both Heechul and Leeteuk shook their heads.  Heechul moved back over to his spot and Leeteuk just stared at the table as if he wasn’t sure what to say.  Kyuhyun frowned and looked at both of them.  “What?”

“For starters, you just said you have the same problem as me when it comes to that guy.  Then you stated you asked him out, but swear it would have just been about the project.  If you were Ryeowook and some guy kept zoning out while looking at you, and then suddenly asks you out for coffee to ‘talk about a project’ what would you think?” Leeteuk asked before picking up his own drink.

Kyuhyun was confused for a moment before saying ‘Oh’ and seeing the nods from his friends.  “This is so frustrating, but hopefully the rest of the project will go better.  I need to go shower and change.  I’ll be back down soon and maybe we can order out and watch a movie.” he said leaving the room.

~*~

The moment that Kyuhyun left, Leeteuk went over to Heechul and gave him a hug.  “How are you feeling?” he asked looking worriedly at his friend.

“I’m ok.  I am.  I promise that I will get over it.”  Heechul told him as he leaned into the hold.  “In the meantime, what is going on with you and that guy?  Are you sure he isn’t dangerous?”

Leeteuk shook his head.  “No. I am not sure of anything when it comes to him.  I only know that he has come to my rescue a few times in the past twenty-four hours.  If I am being honest, it both scares me and yet I don’t want him to stop showing up.   Of course, I’m not looking for anything or anyone right now.  After Henry….” he trailed off not sure if he was ready to speak about what he thought was a good relationship.

“What happened with Henry?” Heechul asked determined to keep the conversation off of himself and things he’d rather not talk about.

A slow stream of air came from Leeteuk’s mouth as he exhaled and then closed his eyes.  “He came to the shop today and acted like nothing happened.  He lied to me straight to my face as if I wasn’t even there.  He even kept trying to convince me that it was all a misunderstanding and I didn’t catch him making out with some woman in the restaurant.  I was accused of cheating by him on top of that, but I never… I’m not…” Leeteuk stopped talking as he was still experiencing all the raw emotions from everything that happened.

“I guess I should have known he was doing things like that.  What type of guy doesn’t want to have a more exclusive relationship with someone they’ve been seeing for a while?  I bought everything.  I bought every sweet gesture, line, excuse, rationalization and all this time he was just trying to sleep with me or something.”  he finished and felt Heechul’s arms wrapping around his waist.

“Don’t blame yourself.   How were you supposed to know that he was like that?  Henry seemed perfect and with everything he had done to come off that way, it was only natural that you’d fall for him.  Don’t beat yourself up over some asshole that couldn’t even see how wonderful you are.” Heechul said.  “If you want, I can punch him in the face for you.  I’m sure he more than deserves it at this point.”

Laughter filled Heechul’s ears and his body began to shake due to it.  Leeteuk couldn’t help himself as he continued laughing and soon Heechul joined in.  It wasn’t a solution, but Heechul was glad they could sit here and laugh without thinking about or worrying about anything else.

~*~

Kyuhyun had gone up to his room, stripped down to his boxers, and then laid on his bed.  He needed to shower again and get changed, but he also needed a moment to himself.  The young male was glad that the two people he considered to be family to him did not judge him for what happened.  Heechul had seemed off, but Kyuhyun figured it was due to the stress of working, going to college, and then finding one of your friends passed out on a music room floor.

Why had that happened?  He had a feeling that whatever he was being warned about would end up happening if people didn’t stop giving him such cryptic answers, and by people he meant his strange hallucination and Ryeowook.  If they didn’t want him to do something, it would help if he knew what he wasn’t supposed to do.  Was there some taboo against saying ‘Hey Kyuhyun, don’t do this’ and then an explanation of what it was specifically?

A loud, frustrated groan left his lips as he kept thinking things over.  His mind drifted through the first time he had seen Ryeowook to when they were assigned to be partners on the project.  The curiosity about the strange male had made sense at first, but now Kyuhyun was wondering if perhaps all the stress of the past few years had begun to whittle away at his mind.  Or he could be overthinking all of this and the hallucination was only a result of stress or need for more sleep. 

It wasn’t hard to see that Ryeowook was attractive.  He had a fantastic voice, smooth skin, and those eyes that seemed to permanently be lined with dark eyeliner.   It brought attention to his eyes more than anything else.  On top of those features, he seemed to be smart, well-informed about music, and those bits of smiles that he had seen only drew him in more.

When he put all that together, from the outside, with no other defining factors, Ryeowook seemed like a good candidate for a potential boyfriend.   He knew the other had to have heard the rumors or even checked them out, and knew that he had a lot of money, but Ryeowook didn’t seem to care.  Maybe that was the problem.  Ryeowook probably thought he was just a spoiled rich kid and didn’t want to be involved with him in that capacity.

He never thought that he came off that way and it annoyed him that it may be the reason for all the issues he had talking to the male, but then again, he had no idea of Ryeowook’s background.  The other male could have a lot of money as well.  Another frustrated scream left his lips and he threw one of his pillows at his dresser and then stopped.

There was one thing he could use, but he wasn’t even sure it would work.  He stared at the drawer with the journal inside of it.  Perhaps, what his grandmother was saying happened to be true.  If he just wrote Ryeowook’s name and some specific actions in there, then they might happen and he could get closer to the other male, satisfy his curiosity, and end this weird obsession.   After that, he could just focus on his courses and some other hobby, not that obsessing over Ryeowook was a hobby, of course. 

He got up, opened the drawer, retrieved the journal and then went to sit on his bed.  A feeling of apprehension and excitement began to fill him as he grabbed a pen from his nightstand and opened it up to the first page.  When the point of the pen touched the paper, he stopped.

What if this didn’t work?  Would he be disappointed or angry?  Why was he giving so much stock into this particular thing that his grandmother had told him?  The old woman had never lied to him before her passing and it would seem strange to lie to him in her final moments, but he wasn’t sure that this was a good idea. 

Kyuhyun bit his lip and kept the pen pressed to the page.  He shouldn’t do this.  He hadn’t felt it was right then, but he seemed a bit too gung-ho about it now. Didn’t he want someone to love him for him?  How was he sure it was even going to work?  He kept asking himself questions and talking himself in circles before he suddenly got an idea.

What if he didn’t try this on him and Ryeowook first?  He could do something that was overall harmless. If he heard about it, then he knew this was real.  If he didn’t hear about it at all, then this journal was just that.  It was just a journal and there was nothing special about it.  The question now was what could he add into it.

The results had to be something that he could see and it had to be simple.  He once more thought of when he had first seen Ryeowook and his… friends? Cousins? Brothers?  He wasn’t actually sure which even if he might have been told already.  Honestly, he had to have the most selective memory at times. Closing his eyes, he focused on them and for some reason thought of using Hyukjae for this first attempt.

Now what could he have him do and to whom could he have him do it?  Kyuhyun ran his hand though his hair and looked down at the paper in front of him.   An idea popped in his mind and it might be considered a bit bad, but for all he knew this book didn’t even work.  Quickly, he wrote it down before he could talk himself out of it and then closed the book and locked it back up in his drawer.

_Hyukjae discovers Heechul’s secret and agrees to keep it quiet with a kiss._

_Cafeteria – Between breakfast and lunch during Heechul’s break. 10:30 in the morning._

~*~

Ryeowook was cooking a meal and sipping on a large cup of black liquid.  The taste was something he had gotten used to having had to drink it for years.   His companions were doing their own things in the next room.  Sungmin was working on something on his computer while Hyukjae had his nose deep in another romance novel.   

Another sip and suddenly Ryeowook’s entire body went rigid as did the other two in the house.  He could hear them rushing into the kitchen when they could move and Sungmin pulled out two vials of the same liquid that Ryeowook was drinking handing one to Hyukjae.  They all quickly downed their respective drinks and then stared at each other in silence.  This happened much sooner than expected.

“Well, it seems I’m the first that gets to play.”  Hyukjae said with a minor frown as he started to wonder what he would end up being forced to do.


	6. First Test

Kyuhyun’s eyes slowly opened as he stared at the sunlight coming into his room.  If it was his choice, he wouldn’t leave his bed or attend his classes for today.  What happened yesterday was still freshly imprinted into his mind, and he wasn’t eager to have to face Ryeowook once more after it.  There was no reason to think that the male had anything to do with the strange hallucination and even then, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Ryeowook was hiding something that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

He slowly got of bed and got ready not even taking a moment to eat.  Both Heechul and Leeteuk had already left and he had never liked eating at the big table all by himself.   The drive to school didn’t take long though he couldn’t help, but think he saw Sungmin watching him as he pulled up.  A double take showed that the male in question was nowhere around.  He leaned back in his seat and covered his eyes with his hand.  He should just go back home and rest.

_You need to see if it works._

Kyuhyun sighed as he got out of the car and then headed up to the building.  He had a one-hour class to attend to first, then he could grab a bite to eat, see if that diary worked, and practice the song with Ryeowook before going over what else they needed for their project.  The plan was perfect.  He walked into his class and chose to sit at the back this time, in case he needed to take a nap.  From what he had heard, this professor really just did a minor review on the first day of class and so there was nothing he really needed to do. 

It was then that he could feel the room becoming colder than it had been before.  Kyuhyun shivered in his chair before feeling icy, cold fingers seem to trace the back of his neck.  He shot up in his chair in an instant and looked around, but nothing had changed.  He was going to chalk it all up to stress and how tired he was, but then he looked down and screamed.   Right there, on the notes that he was just laying on, was a note that said:

_You have no right to toy with other’s lives._

He was breathing heavily as the rest of the class looked up at him.  “I… I’m sorry.  I saw a… spider.” He knew it was a lame excuse, but there was nothing else he could do.  The professor had simply made a joke about it and then continued on with the lesson.  Kyuhyun waited until he felt like no one’s eyes were on him and then he looked back down at the messy writing on his notebook.  He was 100% sure that it hadn’t been there before and he had no idea how it would have gotten there.  His eyes scanned the classroom again, but he didn’t see anything and the cold feeling was all but gone.

When the class was finally over, he quickly made his way over to the cafeteria knowing that Heechul was probably still working right now.  He needed to speak with someone and since there were still many classes going on, he could speak with Heechul uninterrupted for a few minutes.  His heart seemed to calm its furious dance as he finally entered the cafeteria and went up to the counter.

“Heechul! I’m so glad to see you.” Kyuhyun said as he looked at his friend.  

The male in question turned to look at Kyuhyun’s shaky and yet calm form.  He quickly took off his gloves and came from around the corner giving him a hug.  “Kyuhyun, what’s wrong?” he asked pulling back and looking into Kyuhyun’s face. 

“I don’t know.  It made no sense, but in class today, it felt like someone touched me and then a message was on my notebooks.  There was no one else around and no I didn’t have any hallucinations.  The message is right here.” he said showing the notebook to his friend.

Heechul took the notebook and looked over the message.  “What does it mean ‘you have no right to toy with other’s lives’?  Are you in trouble?  What is going on, Kyuhyun?” he asked as he handed the notebook back.

Kyuhyun opened his mouth to speak, but the words were stuck in his throat. He couldn’t tell Heechul about his grandmother’s words or her mysterious gift.  He could only imagine the backlash that he would get if he actually told Heechul about it, and then confessed to using him as his first guinea pig. Besides, he still wasn’t even sure that it would work and so giving Heechul another reason to think he was crazy definitely wasn’t something he wanted to do.

“I have no idea what it means. I just….” Kyuhyun took a deep breath and leaned against Heechul.  “I think I should have just stayed home today instead of coming here, but I need to work on that project later.”

“Do you really have to?” Heechul said before sighing and shaking his head.  “I’m kidding.  I know that this means a lot to you and that you need to work on it, but you shouldn’t neglect your health for it.  I’m worried about you and I am almost positive that Leeteuk is as well.  Also, no, just because I am positive he feels that way doesn’t mean that I’ve been secretly watching him and desperately am waiting for him to confess how we are soulmates.”

Kyuhyun couldn’t help but laugh and that made Heechul smile a bit.  “You might need to cut practice a bit short so that you can get home and rest.  I’ll be home in time for dinner today at the very least.  I think Leeteuk might be working a bit later today to make up for closing up early yesterday.”

A nod came from Kyuhyun as he looked at the time.  “I need to go meet him for practice soon, so do you think I could get a pretzel or two?” he asked smiling at him.  He missed the look in Heechul’s eyes, but didn’t miss the laugh from his friend.

“Well, at least I can rest assured that your stomach will triumph over any fear that you may have.  I’ll come by and check up on you after the lunch rush.  I would hate to have to carry you all the way to the medical center again because you passed out.” Heechul said lightly as he put together Kyuhyun’s order and scanned his ID. 

“I would like that.” Kyuhyun told him taking his pretzels and the drink that he had decided on.  Kyuhyun left the cafeteria and then waited a few moments until he knew Heechul was busy.  After that, he snuck back in and sat behind a pillar, closer to the door, as he knew he wouldn’t be seen.  He checked his watch again and waited as he knew that Hyukjae should be coming in soon.

Sure enough, the blonde-haired male came into the cafeteria and walked over to his unsuspecting friend.

~*~

Heechul was stirring the soup when he heard a click on the counter.  He turned to see Hyukjae standing there and staring at him.  The intense gaze almost made Heechul squirm a bit where he stood.  Quickly, he plastered a smile on his face and went over there.  “Hello, what can I help you with today?” he asked him and felt himself becoming more uneasy with every second that passed.

Hyukjae looked at Heechul a moment.  “Now why the fake smile, Heechul?  That’s not the smile that you give Kyuhyun.” he said looking at him.

Heechul was taken aback a bit, but did his best not to react to it.  “I’m… I’m sorry?” he said, but it came out like more of a question than a statement. 

“It’s not the same smile that you give Kyuhyun.  I didn’t think my first statement was that hard to understand.” Hyukjae said looking at him and making Heechul feel like he was on display.

“Of course, it is different. Kyuhyun is my friend.” Heechul replied and before he could ask what Hyukjae wanted to order, the other spoke up once more.

“A friend?” Hyukjae said with a smirk and then leaned a bit over the counter.  “Is that all you want him to be?” he asked and saw Heechul blush.  “Oh~ I guess not.”

Heechul looked around and didn’t see anyone else in the cafeteria with them.  “How did you find that out?” he asked looking around more just in case someone, especially Kyuhyun, came back in the room.

Hyukjae leaned back a bit.  “Simply because you suck at hiding it, but luckily for you, he’s too oblivious to notice.  I mean, your eyes basically follow him and your smiles are so… blank… unless it is around him. You shouldn’t be surprised.   It’s scientific fact and basic common sense that not everyone is blind, Heechul.”

Heechul took a deep breath. “Fine.  Do you plan to tell him? What do you want? I would really rather he didn’t know.  I’m not sure how you even know or why you were watching me so closely to figure it out, but what do I need to do so you keep your mouth shut?”

“I don’t know. I mean what could you really offer me in exchange for keeping my silence?  You don’t seem to have much of anything and I don’t need any help in any of our mutual classes.” Hyukjae said to him.

“Think outside of the box, why don’t you?” Heechul said irritated and on edge just in case Kyuhyun forgot something and would come back in here. 

“Outside the box?” Hyukjae asked raising an eyebrow.  “How about a kiss? It’s fun, simple, and just passionate enough to make me believe that you have something decent to offer me.  I want a real kiss though, not one of those quick peck or lip presses like they do in romance dramas.  I’ll just kiss you like you wish Kyuhyun would and you had better not fake your responses.”

Heechul looked shocked at the request, but he wasn’t going to back down from this.  “Fine. You get ONE kiss and that’s it.” he said and came from behind the counter.

Hyukjae simply smirked and then pushed Heechul back against the counter.  “One kiss is more than enough to have you questioning everything.” he said and then captured the male’s lips.

Heechul wanted to protest against that statement, but he couldn’t say anything once he had felt Hyukjae’s lips on his own. He shouldn’t give into this and he reminded himself of that fact even as he felt his hip squeezed and his lips part against his will.  How many guys had this guy kissed to be this damn good at it?

It didn’t occur to him that his arms had wrapped around Hyuk’s neck nor that he had been lifted up on to the counter that he just cleaned.  All he was focused on was the feeling of those lips on his and the way he could feel those hands through his shirt.  Heechul was sure that he would get in a lot of trouble for this if someone caught them, but he probably had fifteen minutes at the very best.  There was also the traitorous thought that maybe Hyukjae should find out more of his secrets, since maybe then he wouldn’t be so focused on his crush.

~*~

Kyuhyun left the room knowing that they were too wrapped up in kissing to pay attention.  His thoughts were going a million miles a minute and while he didn’t actually hear what they were talking about, he definitely could see that kiss.  Whatever Heechul was hiding had to be something huge if the other was willing to risk losing his work-study position like that.  The idea that he had led Heechul to do something like that was both exciting and scary.

It was exciting because this meant that the diary actually worked and he could possibly use it to get to Ryeowook, but at the same time, it was frightening because he would have that much control.  Is that what the note meant?  Did it mean that someone, somewhere out there, knew about his grandmother’s secret gift and was trying to stop him from using it? 

Was the gift… evil?

Kyuhyun shook his head.  Of course, it wasn’t evil.  It was a notebook and while it had allowed him to do something like that, he highly doubted it was evil.  All he had to do was make sure that whenever he used it, he had a clear head.   On the other hand, perhaps his friends were right and he needed to truly evaluate what about Ryeowook was attractive to him.  If he was willing to go this far, he should make sure it was worth it.  He should most certainly not act rashly just because Ryeowook was mysterious and sexy. 

“It never is wise to react based on emotion.  It causes people to trap others without even realizing what they are doing.” Ryeowook said and Kyuhyun looked up from his thoughts.  He hadn’t even realized that he had entered the practice room. Before Kyuhyun could ask any questions, Ryeowook gave him a small smile.  “Let’s begin practice now, shall we, Kyuhyun?”


	7. Secrets and Questions

When Ryeowook had come home from his practice with Kyuhyun, he saw both Sungmin and Hyukjae sitting at the table waiting for him.  No words were exchanged as Ryeowook pulled out another vial of the black liquid before sipping it.  His eyes traveled from Sungmin’s less than pleased face to Hyukjae’s more perplexed expression.  “What happened?” he asked softly and yet the urgency in his voice was clear.  Sungmin opened his mouth to speak up, but Hyukjae shook his head.

“I am not exactly sure what he was planning, but I found out a secret about Heechul.  The older male has a crush on Kyuhyun, but will not confess, as he doesn’t wasn’t to be seen as a gold digger.   I felt that would have been the end of it, but I still felt compelled to continue to talk to him.” Hyukjae said as he looked down at the table biting his bottom lip.  “As the conversation continued, I was made to blackmail his friend into kissing me, but…”

“But?” Ryeowook asked raising an eyebrow.  A kiss didn’t seem to be nearly as bad as what Kyuhyun could have made Hyukjae do.  In fact, it was pretty tame compared to the usual scenarios of someone owning a book like this.  He was beginning to wonder if they had anything to worry about, but logically he knew this was just a test.

When Hyukjae didn’t speak up, Sungmin did on his behalf.  “But, Hyukjae enjoyed the interaction and afterwards, it felt as though Heechul’s perception changed as well a-“

This piqued Ryeowook’s interest as he started wondering what Sungmin meant by that.  He looked at both of them and waited for the answer as he had several possibilities running through his mind.  The diary could be more powerful than they knew or it could simply be that Heechul found Hyukjae to be a rather adept kisser.   For their sakes, he hoped it was the latter, but it didn’t seem to be. 

Hyukjae looked at Ryeowook.  “It was almost like one of the romance novels I’ve been reading, but I don’t think Heechul realized that he suddenly seemed to be more attracted to me.  I can’t tell if it is genuine, but it is possible that it could be the result of the kiss that we shared.  Heechul wasn’t the problem as he had no idea that he was falling victim to the whims of his curious friend, but I couldn’t tell when the action was over.”

“What do you mean that you couldn’t tell when it was over?” Ryeowook asked with his black rimmed eyes nearly boring holes into Hyukjae’s own.  “How could you not tell?  You’ve been drinking what I’ve told you to, right?”

“Of course, I have, but something felt off about kissing Heechul.  I figured that after the first perhaps minute or two of kissing that passionately, I would break away.  It… that didn’t happen.  The kiss lasted much longer than I am sure was written and afterwards as I was pulling away, before his next rush of students through the cafeteria, I couldn’t help but kiss him again.” Hyukjae said as he once more had a perplexed look on his face.

“In truth, it makes not a bit of sense, because I am almost positive the diary’s control had in fact disappeared and yet I still felt compelled.  I’ve been wondering if I am rather attracted to Heechul, but at the same time, I’ve never really paid him any mind before today.” Hyukjae told him.  “Heechul was also more receptive, even if he had been rather clear that he was only allowing one kiss so that I would keep his secret.  When I left, I didn’t feel anything different and while I will say Heechul is an amazing kisser, I can’t understand how my perception changed so quickly either.”  
  
Ryeowook was silent as he took in this information.  It was possible that Hyukjae just really enjoyed the kissing, but something about what he said was bothering him.   An enjoyable kiss is fine, but the fact that he still felt compelled to kiss Heechul is what is worrying to him.  Did they underestimate the power of the diary’s compulsion?  “Both of you drink another vial. I need to go to my room for a moment.”

~*~

Wisps of smoke filled Ryeowook’s room as he sat in the middle of the floor.   A soft, low humming was heard as he looked into the mirror and dark lines began to be shown in his face like a clay pot breaking underneath the pressure.  His eyes were completely dark with nothing that would have shown him as human while the humming intensified.  Ryeowook’s teeth changed to sharp and pointed and were almost as though they were covered in bits of oil.

His fingernails elongated and a terrible shriek was heard only in his room before suddenly he was looking like he normally did.  Looking down, he gently ran his fingers over the skull that had appeared in his hands. “Now let’s figure out what options we have, shall we?” he whispered softly to it.

~*~At Kyuhyun’s House~*~

Kyuhyun stared at his ceiling as he was lying in bed.  He still couldn’t believe the diary had worked, and he was still curious about what Heechul’s secret had been.  Of course, Heechul’s secret could have been that he was in fact dating Hyukjae in the first place.   On the other hand, he doubted that Heechul’s secret would have been that obvious.  His mind flashed to Heechul’s worried expression and then their kiss.  It had been extremely exciting to watch and for just a second, he imagined that it was him being kissed so thoroughly. 

At first, it was Heechul in his mind, but then changed to a shorter, sexier male with amazing eyeliner.  The idea of Ryeowook kissing him like that made Kyuhyun bite his lip to stop the sudden urge to moan in pleasure at the mere thought.   Shaking his head, Kyuhyun started thinking about what else he could possibly do to ensure the diary worked like it was supposed to.   What if he just did random things like make all of his teachers decide on a campus wide ‘free day’? No.  He needed to make sure that it was definitely the diary that caused the interaction.

Kyuhyun got up and pulled out the mysterious object wondering what he could write next.  He covered his face when he let out a small, deep scream of frustration and then released a long string of air.   Fine.  He would just write a bunch of random things from ‘free class days’ to people randomly getting sick and throwing up when they heard certain words.

It was horrible and childish, but if he could prove the diary works by normal things that no one would think of like this, then he could begin his plan to make Ryeowook his.  He might even assist his friends to ensure that they found happiness as well.  A sigh left his lips as he remembered Ryeowook’s other friend, Sungmin.   If only he could find someone for Sungmin, this would be easier.  He closed his eyes and tapped his lips with the pen before hearing Leeteuk’s car pulling up. Kyuhyun looked outside his window and saw Leeteuk getting out with…

Wait.  Was that Sungmin?  He didn’t remember Leeteuk mentioning him, but then again, he’s been focused on trying to figure out how to get closer to Ryeowook.  He was wondering what he could do to make it up to him, when he saw Sungmin pull Leeteuk into a kiss.  A slight frown formed on Kyuhyun’s face as he saw just how close they were. 

Why didn’t Leeteuk tell him that he was close with one of Ryeowook’s companions?  Was it just that he didn’t know or did he also think that he should give up on Ryeowook?  Kyuhyun looked down at the diary and then grabbed a different notebook after he had written down some of the random things that he wanted to happen the next day.  He placed the diary down and picked up the regular notebook turning to a blank page. 

Sungmin and Leeteuk might already be together, but didn’t that just mean it would be better to do the next major test of the diary on them?  It wasn’t like they weren’t planning to do everything anyway, right?  His smile widened as he started writing ideas on the blank page to flesh them out before adding them to the book.

~*~The Livingroom~*~

Heechul was sitting in the livingroom just listening to the radio.  He knew that Kyuhyun was resting in his room and that Leeteuk would be home soon enough as he had an appointment later.   He laid on the couch staring at a random spot in the room as he thought about what had transpired earlier.  Why had he agreed to kiss Hyukjae?  Ok.  Maybe he wasn’t thinking about why he agreed and more maybe why he liked it.  At first, it seemed like something that he had just had to do, then it was something he wanted to do.

He couldn’t deny that Hyukjae was a good kisser, but he was in love with Kyuhyun.  If anything, he should have just confessed to his friend and dealt with the consequences of his actions.  He wouldn’t have kissed Hyukjae then and he wouldn’t be sitting here wondering why he was still focused on the kiss.  
  
 _Be honest, it was more than a kiss Heechul._

Heechul groaned wanting his mind to shut up right now.  Fine, it was more than a kiss and maybe that is why he was feeling this way.  Hyukjae lifting him up on the counter, holding him that closely, his tongue expertly exploring his mouth, those hands in his hair, and on his waist.   The slight fiery touch of his fingers on his skin and the scrape of teeth against his bottom lip was still managing to make him squirm hours later.

After it was done, he should have easily wanted to push Hyukjae away, but when he was pulled into a second kiss, he just let it happen and he let shorter, quicker kisses keep happening before Hyukjae finally left.  Heechul was sure there were rumors going around, but anyone who asked was just told that he had an allergic reaction to something he ate for breakfast.  Most didn’t question it, but there was always some student who forgot that they left high school already.

The moment he was done, he had come here and has been on the couch ever since.  His mind was torn between both of them, and it was strange how Hyukjae was right in saying he would question everything.  It would be less frustrating if his mind could fully accept that he didn’t or would never have a chance with Kyuhyun.

When he had first laid eyes on Kyuhyun, he hadn’t even known he was rich.  No, he was just some poor guy that was wandering through the school with a blank look on his face.   Every day it was the same thing, which he had come to know was due to Kyuhyun’s parents trying to sue for his grandmother’s money.  However, at the time, Heechul was just thinking about how much he wanted to be able to get close to him.

Approaching Kyuhyun had actually been easier than he thought, the younger male seemed just about ready to give up and Heechul was unfortunately and fortunately the one that found him that day.  He remembered Kyuhyun’s teary eyes, resigned sigh, and almost reluctant acceptance of what he thought Heechul was going to propose.  Just seeing that sight made him change his plan and ask Kyuhyun what was wrong.   All of that led to them coming back to Kyuhyun’s house and talking while eating snacks together for the rest of the night.

He had found out so much about Kyuhyun in next weeks that followed as they started hanging out, and the gloomy looking Kyuhyun stopped looking nearly as gloomy.  They met Leeteuk having gone into his book shop and Kyuhyun got the strange idea that him and Leeteuk should hook up.  The solitary shop owner seemed to enjoy their company and not long after became a part of their friendship as well.  It was another month before Kyuhyun offered to let them both stay in the house with him and even offered to help pay for both his schooling and to help Leeteuk keep up his shop not to mention letting them stay there basically for free.

Still, it was the stolen moments and the one on one time that he had enjoyed the most.  Kyuhyun was funny, kind, caring, and even the depressive moments weren’t too bad, because Heechul was happy that he was the one who could help him cheer up.  The more he got to know him, however, the more he started hiding his feelings because he didn’t want to be seen as one of those gold diggers that had tried to get with Kyuhyun before.  He convinced himself that he’d get over it, but he hadn’t been able to fully occupy his mind with anything else.

 _Until Today_.

Today was confusing him because, while he was still sure he had more feelings towards his housemate, that kiss was driving his mind in all sorts of directions.  He let his eyes flutter closed as he let himself drift away into the memory of what had happened.  Part of him realized that it was probably just lust, but that part didn’t care.  It was one time. 

He had to stop thinking about this.

He had to be there for Kyuhyun.

He couldn’t allow himself to….

“I’m home.” Leeteuk said as he walked into the house.   Heechul sat up quickly as he wanted to talk to him about everything before Kyuhyun came down from resting.  He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and hoped that Leeteuk would be able to offer him some good advice.


	8. Suspicions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was beta'd late at night/early morning. I will go back through and read it soon. Most of the chapter is fine, but I may have some minor fixes to make. Thank you.

Kyuhyun hadn’t stopped with his little experiments, but he made sure they were small enough as to not hurt anyone.   He wasn’t even sure if he could use this to actually hurt someone, though he was more than sure that it worked.   The questions had flooded his mind concerning his grandmother and how she had even gotten her hands on such a book in the first place. It was a mystery and while he had known the woman to be adventurous in her youth, finding a magical diary was still far from the norm.  The sound of his alarm went off once more as he forced himself out of bed. 

He wasn’t looking forward to today and had even wondered if he should write an extension in the book so that he could work with Ryeowook much longer.  It would only take a minute to write it in there, but for some reason, he was hesitant to use it for that right away.   Kyuhyun hadn’t been able to make sure the diary was safe to use on his relationship, and for all he knew, his experiments were planning to do those actions anyway.

There was also the fact that even with his obsession concerning Ryeowook, he did actually want to complete his degree. Therefore trapping Ryeowook into an endless loop project would not be in his best interests.  Just this simple thought had made Kyuhyun drag himself out of the bed, get ready, and head off to the school.   Perhaps, if he got there early enough, he could come up with a plan to finally make Ryeowook his.

“I’m headed off early to make sure my project goes well.” he told his roommates as he grabbed a roll off of the table and rushed out the house leaving behind the perplexed looks of his two friends.  It didn’t matter to him at the moment as he wanted to keep moving so that he didn’t tempt himself to use the diary.  The entire ordeal was taking all of his self-control as he made it to the classroom and sat down.  His concentration was off as he focused partially on the pieces of other students, while simultaneously trying to forget about Ryeowook’s presence by his side.   When their professor finally did call them up, Kyuhyun felt everything he tried to keep at bay rushing at him.   Each and every unanswered question was glaring into his face the moment Ryeowook turned on the projection machine. 

Once again, Kyuhyun felt as though he were lost in the mystery of Ryeowook while his fingers began to play as though on autopilot.  He allowed his mind to be swept up in the feelings that Ryeowook was causing and the way his own mind kept screaming at him: _use the diary._   Morally, he should stop using it.  He should allow things to take their natural course and yet the urge to use it, to control everything that he’d be able to control was pushing against his morality.  It was said that love made you do crazy things, but it was hard to determine on whether it was love or an obsession.  He just wanted to get to know him, to get closer to him, to solve his mystery, to --.

The spell was broken as the song ended, and he rose up from his seat to the clapping and cheering of the class.  Both men took their seats and Kyuhyun zoned out as he doodled in his notebook.   The professor was announcing their next projects after raving about their earlier performance, and walking around handing everyone the evaluations he had been writing during each song as well as talking to each of them about their next performances.   It was another group project, but this one included two individual performances and another combined performance. 

When the professor began to assign people to different groups based on their evaluations, Kyuhyun became nervous once more.  Would the gods shine down on him and allow him to work on another project, to have another chance, with Ryeowook?  His prayers were answered when the professor explained that their work together had been phenomenal and that he was looking forward to receiving similar results in the future. 

As class ended, Kyuhyun turned to Ryeowook, but instead found a schedule of times to meet and practice.  A frown made his way on to his face as he didn’t understand why Ryeowook seemed to avoid him.  He realized in that moment that he wasn’t even sure why he couldn’t seem to leave the male alone, but Ryeowook was someone that he just couldn’t turn away from.   Kyuhyun could almost hear his grandmother’s voice telling him that this is what the diary was for, but his own inner voice offered words of caution.   The diary clearly worked, but what if there was something off about Ryeowook that made it nearly impossible to use it on him.   A groan left his lips as he got up since all that thought did was make him want to use it more.

~Leeteuk’s Bookshop~

The bell of the door rang, but as Leeteuk was about to recite his normal greeting, he noticed it was Sungmin.  A blush tore across his face as he looked at the male, he had struck up some odd form of friendship with.   “I wasn’t expecting to see you today.” he told him as Sungmin walked towards him.  He couldn’t help but find himself drawn into Sungmin’s eyes that were regarding him with amusement. 

“Oh?” Sungmin asked as he looked at him.  “Here I thought you would’ve been expecting me since I’ve stopped past several days this week.”

Leeteuk’s face began to heat up a few more shades as he realized that Sungmin was indeed correct.  He didn’t understand why he had spoken those words in the first place, but partially wondered if it was due to his conversations with Kyuhyun about that Ryeowook guy.   Did he act similar to Kyuhyun and his random obsession?  Perhaps he had since he had been relying on Sungmin more than he cared to admit.  Sungmin, a man who had been a complete stranger not that long ago and one he’s found growing interest in.

Each kiss that Sungmin had given him continued to feel different than any one he had previous.  They were careful, controlled, and yet they ignited a passion within him that he wasn’t sure if he had ever felt with someone he was dating, but that was the problem.  Were they dating?   At the moment, they seemed more like friends, but then again, all of those kisses that they shared spoke volumes to him.  This entire line of thinking was completely insane.  He shouldn’t keep attributing those close moments to mean something beyond friendliness and perhaps Sungmin not caring about certain boundaries.

“I am wondering if you are able to concentrate with how much you seem to zone out.  I can’t be as mysterious as my friend, but I would hope that you were used to me enough by now Leeteuk.” Sungmin said having watched him for several moments.  “Care to tell me what’s on your mind? Is it Henry again?” he inquired.  “We can talk about it over lunch?”  Sungmin held up a bag full of food and motioned that he had already locked the door for Leeteuk’s lunch break.

Leeteuk’s eyes met that of Sungmin’s and he found himself wishing to tell Sungmin everything that had been in his mind as of late.  “I’d like that.”  Leeteuk led Sungmin to his small office and Sungmin placed the containers on his desk while Leeteuk moved paperwork out of the way.  When they finally sat down to begin their meal, Sungmin waited until Leeteuk started eating before partaking of the food himself. 

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Oh, yes, right.”  Leeteuk stumbled a bit over his wording as he had been partially hoping to avoid the talk due to his anxiety over the subject matter.  He didn’t want to come off as weak or easy or as someone with too much baggage to continue speaking with him.  “I am not quite sure where to begin with how crazy things have gotten lately.”

“One of my roommates has this crazy crush on a guy that doesn’t quite seem to be interested.  My other roommate has strong feelings for that one and I’ve just felt like there is a lot of tension in the house due to this.   Henry hasn’t stopped trying to contact me, but I just, I’m not sure about him anymore.  His messages sound sincere, but maybe I realized I wasn’t as into him as I thought I was and then….”  he trailed off staring at his food more than he looked at Sungmin.   Part of him felt that Sungmin wouldn’t get upset with his admission, but there was another part of him that worried what Sungmin would do with the information.  Would he find him to be odd because of how quickly he got attached to another person?

Nothing would be known if he didn’t speak up about it, but fear was keeping him from wanting to open his mouth.  His breath quickened as he started going over all the possibilities until he felt Sungmin touch his hand and give him a reassuring gaze.  Strengthening his resolve, he lifted his own gaze to meet Sungmin’s head on.  “The last thing on my mind is you.  I can’t think around you, but beyond that, I’ve found myself falling into your mystery.  Each time you kiss me, those moments stay on my mind well into the evening and I don’t know what to do about them.  You hardly know me, and I can’t be that interesting.  I run a book store and I’m not even intelligent enough to realize when someone’s playing with m- “

Sungmin had heard enough and decided to quiet him in the way that he knew Leeteuk liked.  His tongue traced over those lips that he had come to enjoy recently before slipping between Leeteuk’s lips and kissing him deeply.  Whatever the compulsions were from the diary seemed to be solely placed on Leeteuk with minor pushes on his own actions.  As he pulled back, he took in Leeteuk’s features. Their main goal was to retrieve that damnable diary that was being used by Kyuhyun or at least find a way to save the male.  However, as he looked upon Leeteuk’s dazed and flushed expression, he realized that maybe there were more important things.

The moment that thought had flashed in his mind, he felt alarmed.  His own truth was freaking out within him and he realized he’d need to quickly go home and get a drink.  Why on earth would he ever have that thought?  Kyuhyun wouldn’t have known anything about what they were or anything about what they would be trying to do.  Was this Kyuhyun’s doing or the diary’s?  Sungmin could feel the darkness creeping in and the roaring in his ears getting louder.  There were tendrils of black smoke, similar to the ones he had seen off of Ryeowook, seeming to fill the room.

“Sungmin?” 

The male in question looked at Leeteuk and could see the worry swirling in his dark eyes.  Sungmin opened his mouth to respond but closed it when he saw those same black tendrils start to weave their way closer to Leeteuk.  A quick decision needed to be made, but Sungmin didn’t think that staying away from Leeteuk was an option.  The only thing he could do was stop the darkness from grabbing a hold of him.  He pulled Leeteuk closer to him while ignoring the suffocating feeling he was getting.  “Be mine.” he whispered before pulling Leeteuk into a kiss as the tendrils seeped into his own body instead.

~Biology Class~

“Now today class, we will be working on dissection.  I’m sure some of you are surprised that this is happening on the first day of my class, but I need to figure out if you are able to work in a lab setting.  I have paired you up and would like you to refer to the projection for your class partner.  Packets are sitting right there, and you have the entire length of the lecture to complete your dissection and report.  This, for those of you that I am sure will be begging for more time, means that you only have one and a half hours to complete and turn in the assignment.  Failing grades will result in removal from this class.  You may begin.”   The professor went back to sitting at his desk and grading his previous class’ assignments.

Heechul was sitting closest to the front of the class and grabbed his and his partners lab packets before searching the projection for his name.  Upon finding it, Heechul felt the pit of his stomach drop.  Had it not been bad enough that the male found out his most preciously kept secret?  No, he could be professional about this and so with his head held high, he walked over to the table where Hyukjae was waiting with their specimen and lab wear. 

“You can relax.  I am quite sure I remember how you convinced me to keep your secret.” Hyukjae informed him as he handed him the gloves, safety goggles, and lab coat that he had picked up for him.  “Besides, I am pretty sure you’ve been questioning everything since that moment.  Doesn’t it seem odd to you that we’ve barely had interactions, but I was able to pick up a secret without ever truly being able to observe you and your crush together more than once or twice?”

Heechul had relaxed with Hyukjae’s first sentence as he got prepared to work on his assignment, but his entire body felt cold at the question he was asked.  Even if Heechul didn’t necessarily believe in the supernatural to that extent, he couldn’t help but wonder about Hyukjae’s wording.  It had been incredibly strange for that to happen.  Their whole banter seemed oddly comfortable, scary, and strange when it came to that subject, but rationally there had to be an explanation for it.

“It was a bit odd, but you could’ve been watching me or simply observing me as you were going about your day.  You didn’t have to study me to figure that out, you said yourself.  It is easy to see for everyone, but my crush.”  Heechul answered as he made the first incision.  They carefully removed the creature’s stomach before placing it in the appropriate marked tray after examining it. 

While recording their answers, Hyukjae glanced in his direction.  “I suppose that is a plausible reason, but still a very strange coincidence as I can assure you that I hadn’t studied you that much.”  Hyukjae did the next incision and carefully removed the next part of the animal in the packet.  “Would you say your crush is obsessive about something to use any means necessary to get it?”

Another uncomfortable question, but Heechul pushed that feeling as down as far as he could.  He had done his best to hide any tension building within him towards Kyuhyun.   A frustrated sigh left his lips.  “I am not sure what to think anymore.  At first, my crush was a sad, young man who had everyone coming after him for his wealth, but I didn’t want that.   We became friends, and now I am not sure if I truly know who he is anymore.   I’ve caught him staring off into space, writing a lot more, and he’s nearly obsessed with your friend? Brother? I have no idea.  I’m worried that he will do something that I would’ve never thought him capable of.”

“Like what? Stealing? Rape? Murder?” Hyukjae hoped he sounded curiously sincere in the way he spoke, but he took this moment to secretly record the conversation on his phone.  Ryeowook may find this information useful in determining how far Kyuhyun may go with his usage.

Heechul looked at Hyukjae and could feel a strange feeling come over him.  It was as though he knew it was wrong, but it felt different than when Hyukjae confronted him about the kiss.  “I… I don’t know.”  The answer left a sour feeling in his stomach as he realized the underlying meaning of the words that had left his lips.   Kyuhyun was one of his best friends.  He should know.  He should have an idea as to how unstable everything had become once Kyuhyun had laid eyes on Hyukjae’s friend.  His normally steady hand trembled before he made another incision and he felt Hyukjae’s hand stop and steady his before he had caused himself unnecessary injury. 

Tears remained unshed in Heechul’s eyes as they searched Hyukjae’s own for the answers that could never be answered by anyone else.  “I hate not knowing.  I wish I knew so that I could actually help him, but I also wonder if that’s what I ever wanted at all.”  His whisper reached Hyukjae’s ears as he looked around.  Their project was nearly finished and Hyukjae had been situated at the very back of the classroom. 

“I’m sorry for asking.”  Hyukjae's apology was softly spoken and even though he knew he wasn’t under a direct order from the diary, he found himself placing the softest, most comforting kiss on Heechul’s lips.

_Maybe you could find happiness now too, instead of being his pawn._

Hyukjae frowned at the voice that seemed to infiltrate his mind.  There was something sincerely wrong with it and he didn’t like the implications of the voice’s words.  He secretly switched his phone’s recording off, debating on whether or not to let Ryeowook hear the wording, and made a mental note to discuss the ‘advise’ he had been given when he met Ryeowook and Sungmin at home.  As far as he knew, there were no other forces at work in this area besides that of the diary and themselves.  

While he worked on finishing the project with Heechul, Hyukjae couldn’t help but wonder how powerful the diary was and if they were in way over their heads.


	9. A Glimpse into Him

The days passed and with each passing day, Ryeowook, Hyukjae, and Sungmin were getting increasingly worried about the frequency in which Kyuhyun was using the diary.   At first, the events seemed random and harmless, such as a professor calling off sick one day, but other things started happening.   Stranger things.  It seemed as though minds were being altered well after the intentioned actions should have been completed.   There was nothing to their knowledge that should have the power to do that.  Was it simply the growing power of the diary or perhaps Kyuhyun was special in some way? 

Sungmin theorized that the reason the diary seemed to be taking on a mind of its own was because of Kyuhyun’s own conflicted mind.  The male was completely smitten with Ryeowook and regardless of Ryeowook’s cold civility, nothing seemed to deter Kyuhyun from his mental goal.  Frustration etched itself across Ryeowook’s face with each passing day, and he found his own patience wearing thin.   There had to be a way to get through to him before he crossed the line with the abilities of the diary.

“What are we going to do, Ryeowook?” Sungmin asked him as he downed the next bottle of the inky black liquid that protected them from some of the worse effects of the diary.   He hadn’t quite felt like himself since he had those thoughts about finding his own happiness, and claiming Leeteuk before the darkness managed to seep into the bookstore owner’s mind.

Ryeowook was about to answer when he noticed Hyukjae typing away on his phone.  “What are you doing?”  His eyes met Hyukjae’s as said male took a glass of the liquid and drank more than half of it before setting it back down on the table. 

“Heechul.  I can’t seem to pull away from him as much as I want to.  I am not sure if it is my own ability to feel empathy or if I am truly interested in him.” Hyukjae told him as he answered another of Heechul’s messages.  Ever since their last class where he had comforted the other, he hadn’t stopped talking to him.  Some of the information that had been retrieved was indicative of Kyuhyun’s mental state, while the rest was personal in nature.

Ryeowook closed his eyes and then opened them to show the clay-like mask of his face cracking and eyes as black as midnight with no touch of white.  “Could you please focus on the conversation at hand?”  His voice came out like a scratchy hiss.

Finishing the drink, Hyukjae stood up and looked at him.  His head falling slightly to the side as he focused on Ryeowook.  Hyukjae’s eyes seemed to be blank, before he shook his head.  “There is no need to use that voice, and there is nothing that we can accomplish with this conversation.  If the goal is to save him from himself, then we are running out of options, Ryeowook.  Either we allow the diary to be influenced by the troubled mind of a young man who is desperate for affection on some level, or you give into his affections to destroy the diary.”   Hyukjae’s eyes were boring into Ryeowook’s almost challenging him. 

Sungmin broke the tension as he sighed.  “You may just need to talk with him Ryeowook.  I understand that you do not wish to, but Hyukjae’s right.  At this rate, our options are getting smaller.  Perhaps you could talk to him a little more directly before we need to resort to drastic measures, such as, surrendering your will to the whims of a human child.”

A cool wind seemed to circulate within the house as Ryeowook looked normal once again.  His gaze went between the two of them as he mulled over their suggestions.  “I will try and talk to him.  I would like to hope that a clear conversation with him can make him stop using the diary but remain on alert.  If it doesn’t, I fear it may be too late to stop him from the path that he is on.  Even now, my words may have no effect on him.”

“If you stopped with the ridiculously cryptic messages, he might get it.   Heechul has stated that your messages seem to confuse Kyuhyun further.  Perhaps, in your attempts at subtlety, you are indirectly encouraging him to continue using the diary as to test for the future possibility of using it on you.” Hyukjae told him and Ryeowook frowned at the idea that he could be encouraging the usage of the artefact. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”   With those words, Ryeowook left the house to go meet up with Kyuhyun for their practice.

 

~At a Café~

 

Leeteuk was sitting at a table staring at the people going by.  He was supposed to meet up with Sungmin at this place, and he had received his message ten minutes ago that he was running late due to ‘roommate problems’.   This would be their first official date since that day in the bookstore.   A thin smile made its way on to Leeteuk’s lips as he thought about the fact that this was their first official date.  How many dates had they gone on beforehand that weren’t official?  Leeteuk was pretty sure that he had lost count.

He was lost in thought when a young child, who couldn’t be older than six or seven, decided to come up to him and try to offer him a cookie.  Leeteuk smiled down at the little kid.  “No thank you.” he told him as he heard the boy’s mother run towards him and apologize for her son’s behavior.  “It is perfectly fine, ma’am.”  The woman smiled before staring at him a moment.  “Ah you are the owner of the bookstore.  I had just visited the store yesterday.  I enjoy that you have such a wide selection of children’s books as well as adult books.  It is so hard to find a place that has a good selection of physical books these days. Well, we need to be on our way, say goodbye little one.”

The child waved goodbye before him and his mother left the shop.   Leeteuk held a smile on his features until the chime of the door sounded again only to reveal his ex.  His mood soured near instantly when Henry recognized him and made his way over.  Straightening his back, he looked at Henry.  “What do you want?” Leeteuk asked him effectively cutting off any civil greeting between them.

Henry barely bit back his annoyance.  “We still need to talk to about what had happened a few weeks ago.  Are you waiting for someone?”

“My boyfriend.”  Leeteuk leaned back in his chair as he surveyed Henry’s reaction.  Ever since their failed date, he had paid close attention whenever Henry spoke with him to catch the signs he had missed when they were together.

The vein in Henry’s head seemed to pulse in anger at that revelation, but the deep breath that followed was indicative of him trying to relax and regain control of the situation.   “Does he know he’s a rebound?” Henry stated and Leeteuk’s hand tightened around his cup.

“He’s not a rebound.  I enjoy being with him.  I have since I caught you with your tongue down some woman’s throat on the same night, I was planning to give myself to you.”  Leeteuk told him with a coldness that laced his words.

Henry opened his mouth, ready to spew thousands of excuses from his lips, but a side glance revealed to him exactly who his ex was meeting.  Without another moment wasted, Henry moved and pulled Leeteuk’s lips to his as Sungmin was walking into the café.  When he was sure that Sungmin had seen them based on the male’s footsteps, he moved back and looked at Sungmin, who seemed unimpressed.  If anything, that infuriated him further, and he stood up from his chair planning to confront him.

“If I were you, I’d drop it here.  I know Leeteuk has better taste than you.  After all, now he has me.” Sungmin said and moved Henry out of the way as he took Leeteuk’s hand and left the café with him.

Leeteuk still wasn’t sure what was going on, but he followed Sungmin until they got to his car.  Sungmin lightly rubbed his leg once they were inside and told Leeteuk that he was going to take them somewhere else for their first official date and not to worry.  Leeteuk barely nodded in affirmation that he had heard him, before leaning against the window. 

He couldn’t believe Henry just kissed him in front of Sungmin, but the strangest part of it all was that he tasted like Sungmin.  It wasn’t something small or even a mix of their tastes, but the kiss had the unique taste of Sungmin and Sungmin only.  This baffled Leeteuk as he didn’t understand how that could happen.  After all, he knew Sungmin would never go for a guy like Henry and so it was confusing at best.

A stray thought from his memory resurfaced in his mind. He remembered kissing Sungmin and then Sungmin’s words.

 _And now_ _you’ll always taste me, no matter who kisses you_. 

He had thought that Sungmin was being flirty, but his experience just now with Henry seemed to speak volumes on another level.  When Henry kissed him, he could only taste Sungmin.  Confusion made itself apparent on his face as he looked over at Sungmin, only to pass out in shock.  Instead of the handsome male that he had come to know, he saw what seemed to be falling dirt and a gaunt face as though Sungmin had long since passed.

A sigh left Sungmin’s lips as he looked at Leeteuk and slipped something into his mouth.  It wouldn’t do for Leeteuk to suddenly see things that he didn’t need to see.  When he saw his body jolt, Sungmin smiled and continued driving them to a new café for them to have their first official date.

 

~In a practice room~

 

Kyuhyun and Ryeowook had just finished going through the song Ryeowook had wanted him to sing during their first project.  It had taken Kyuhyun no time to connect with the emotion of the song, but it had taken a few moments for him not to focus solely on his partner.   When he finally focused, his voice rang strong through the practice room.  They needed to take a break as they’d be working on their individual songs to have each other critique their performances for the project.

Ryeowook really hoped that Sungmin’s idea worked, but he wasn’t sure it would.  He couldn’t be bluntly honest about the effects of the diary nor could he mention that he knew Kyuhyun was in possession of it.  All the scenarios in his mind ended up in the worst way that they possibly could, but it was worth a try.

“Kyuhyun?” Ryeowook began tentatively. 

To say that Kyuhyun was shocked that Ryeowook seemed to be willing to have a conversation with him that didn’t seem to be part of the school assignment would be an understatement.   He quickly put his notebook aside and gave him his full attention.  “Yes?”

“Would you ever mess around with something that you shouldn’t to trap someone in something they don’t want to be in?” Ryeowook asked him.  It wasn’t exactly subtle, but for all Kyuhyun knew this was a shower thought of his.

Kyuhyun blinked a few times.  “I don’t know if I would.” he told him while treading carefully.  “But I think if someone wanted to do something like that, then it would only be for the best intentions.”

Only years of practice helped Ryeowook to school his features.  “It would be the best intentions to control someone even if they were against it?  It would be in the best intentions to take away their free will?” he asked.  “Sorry if this seems odd.  I also have an ethics class and I have been curious about the responses of others.”

This news seemed to relax Kyuhyun as he thought over the question.  “In that sense, I would say no, but then again no one really knows the intentions of the other.   For example, wouldn’t you think it would be acceptable if all someone wanted to do was to find love?”

“But is it real love if the other person is compelled to do it?  Wouldn’t it seem horrible to have to force someone to fall in love when you know that it was nothing more than an illusion?” Ryeowook asked him as he also relaxed.  If he couldn’t convince Kyuhyun to stop using it through this conversation, then perhaps it would help him to gain more information about him.

A frown appeared on his face.  “What if love doesn’t exist?” Kyuhyun asked startling Ryeowook with the mild animosity in his voice.  Had they read him all wrong?  “I’ve been questioning this recently.  My parents, you see, tried to sue me for what my grandmother had left me, but they were unsuccessful.  The most undeniable, unbreakable love is that between a parent and a child.  It is the only unconditional love that exists, but if my parents could so easily turn their backs on me without getting something in return, then what does that say about love between two complete strangers wanting to build a life together?  Does it truly exist or not?  If it doesn’t, then does it matter if you take away someone’s choice to love you?  They could be happy with you and you happy with them without having to deal with the unfortunate downsides that many relationships fall into.”

Ryeowook could feel his annoyance building, but the worst part was that in all his years of living, he was worried that he agreed with that point.   People were fickle.  Their tastes change from one moment to the next and while in relationships many stick it out, other people can’t, or they prefer more non-traditional relationships to what they had before.  Still…  “I understand the craving for happiness and security, but if everything is fake, then so are both of those.  People can change their minds a lot.  Look at the fans of idols who go from one bias to the next. It is part of the experience of being human, of living. It is hard, but worth it.”

“Is it really worth it, Ryeowook? To never find that companionship because you can’t trust anyone with your deepest secrets when they only want a payday?  Is it worth it, to find the person of your dreams, and then let them go easily out of your life as though they were nothing but a passing fancy, when you could do something about it?  Is loneliness really a better price than submission?” Kyuhyun was visibly getting upset as he asked those questions.

“Is it worth it, Kyuhyun?  To never have that any way if you controlled them?” Ryeowook’s voice was soft as Kyuhyun absorbed the words. 

It was all pointless, wasn’t it?  Either way, how could he be happy?  Without another word towards the conversation, Kyuhyun got up. “We can practice again another time, but for now I need to go.”

Ryeowook worried about what Kyuhyun might do with the diary next.  “Kyuhyun! Wait!” he called after him but Kyuhyun was gone.  Ryeowook felt annoyed at how that had gone, but even more annoyed at the fact that he could hear the pain in his voice as clearly as he could in the song.   He could feel his mask breaking and quickly gathered his things so he could get home as soon as possible.

_What could they do now?_


	10. Mistake and Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some content that may be triggering to some readers. Please read end of chapter notes for specifics.

Kyuhyun found himself dazed and unfocused as he walked away.  His anger was still bubbling at the surface as he kept asking himself:  _what did he know?_ All Kyuhyun wanted to do was get home and rest.  If he did, then maybe he would forget about the conversation he just had with his crush.  Honestly, he wondered why he thought Ryeowook would understand his viewpoint.  After all, he had lost faith that many people could, outside of those very close to him.

His mind wondered what Ryeowook saw when he looked at him.   Did he see someone who has had to deal with the harshness of a world where several people wanted to believe in imaginary emotions?  Heh.  There was a part of Kyuhyun that hated his change from the young man he was to the one he felt he was becoming, but lately, it was hard not to give more credibility to his grandmother’s words.   When he wasn’t interested in dating anyone, he had people desperate to get into his good graces and use him for the money he had inherited.  Every moment was agonizing as he had to always guess someone’s true intentions, and all he wanted was for everyone to stop. 

Now, it was different.  While he didn’t know much about him, Ryeowook was something he wanted.  Each day, he tried to work on it his way, but perhaps he was too awkward, too insecure, too broken and just maybe that was shining brightly to Ryeowook like a singular beam of light in the darkness.  No one wanted to take on the problems of someone else, but then did that really mean that his grandmother had truthfully been right all along?  Was it too much to have just one thing that he wanted?

Kyuhyun wasn’t even sure when he made it home, but he knew the moment his knees hit the bed.  Her words were swirling around in his mind once again, just as they had done plenty of times in the past few weeks.  Could he actually use the diary to force Ryeowook to love him?  In all of his testing, he had simply made people speak or show up at opportune moments, but an emotion like love was complicated was it not?  He also wasn’t sure about whether or not it was the diary or if these things were already going to happen. 

Sure, he knew it worked, but it worked on a smaller scale in his opinion.  Heechul making out with Hyukjae was still something he was sure could have happened regardless, and it wasn’t like he knew what the secret was or if it had been a confession to Hyukjae.   One more test was all he would need and if this test worked, then he would feel comfortable using it to his advantage.   What could he do for another test?  Was it even worth it?

Ryeowook’s words were also milling about his mind as he thought about if he should use it.   He had to use it on him, but could he handle being in a relationship that was simply based on the powers of a supernatural diary?  Would he have to periodically keep adding that Ryeowook would have to love him so that he didn’t fall out of… of…?  Tears welled up in Kyuhyun’s eyes, what was he thinking?  None of this was going to work.  Why had his life turned upside down?  Was it too much to have one thing work out the way that he wanted it to?

Kyuhyun looked down at the diary that he had pulled out and ran his fingers over the surface.  He shouldn’t do this, and he knew that he shouldn’t do this.  Ryeowook deserved to be happier without being controlled and maybe he deserved to be alone.  The conversation from earlier was at the forefront of his thoughts as a smaller, darker voice seemed to sound in his mind. 

_Why can’t you make your own happiness?_

_Is it fair that everyone else gets to be happy, but you?_

Those darker thoughts brought the anger to the surface again.  Why shouldn’t he use the diary?  Everyone in the world used the tools at their disposal to create what they considered to be happiness, but it wasn’t good for him?  Why was that?  He laid his head against his window and stared outside as he saw Leeteuk and Sungmin pull up.  Sungmin, one of Ryeowook’s friends, had managed to get so close to Leeteuk.  They had even started dating and Heechul had been texting with Hyukjae for quite sometime now. 

Both of his friends had manage to build some kind of relationship with the friends of the person that he wanted the most, and he couldn’t seem to get close to him at all.   How was that fair?  He had done so much for them, but even they had more of a chance for a normal life than he did.  He wanted something like that as well.   The darkness seemed to be creeping up on Kyuhyun and a small, almost angry smile appeared on his face.   Why should they be so much happier than he was?  Weren’t they friends?  Shouldn’t friends understand the pain he felt with being so alone?

Without thinking further than that, Kyuhyun decided he wanted to do one more major test before using the diary for wants.  When he finishes writing the action, he closes the book and texts both his friends stating that they should have a night with the three of them again as he missed them.  Both of them agreed and he set about asking the chef to make a mix of all their favorites.

~The Next Afternoon~

Leeteuk looked around and then locked up his bookstore.   Normally, he wouldn’t close too early or if he did it was only for lunch, but today he was on a mission.   He had called Sungmin and told him that he wanted to plan their next date and he had, but he didn’t have anything he wanted to wear.   Clothing wasn’t exactly important to him, but he really wanted to look nice for Sungmin.  Just thinking of their cute first date after escaping from Henry’s bullshit made him a bit giddy.  In fact, he was thankful for Henry cheating on him.  Not only did it open his eyes to the type of guy he was, but he managed to meet an amazing guy who he was happily dating.

Checking his account again, Leeteuk entered his favorite clothing store and started looking for something that would fit himself and the location of the date he was planning.  It took him several minutes as he second guessed a few of his decisions before he chose quite a few outfits to go and try on.  One of them was a bit pricey, but if absolutely necessary, he would ask Kyuhyun and would pay him back when he did his accounting for his bookstore, even if it set him back a little. 

The first outfit he tried on was a classic, long-sleeve, button down shirt and a nice pair of slacks.  He looked at himself from side to side, but he didn’t like how loose the pants seemed to be on him.  A frown made its way on to his face and he double checked the sizes of everything that he had gotten.  Confirming that it was all his size, he figured it must be the manufacturer and put the pants aside before trying on different outfits. 

It took him a total of forty-five minutes, but he finally had a new outfit, some shoes, and managed not to overspend.  Leeteuk looked at his watch and realized his present for Sungmin should also be done soon.  It wasn’t much, but more like a small bracelet with their names on it.  He had agonized over whether he should get him such a gift, but if Sungmin didn’t like it, then Leeteuk would just tell him that he didn’t have to wear the accessory.  Problem Solved.

With his shopping completed, Leeteuk decided to go and grab himself some lunch before heading home to rest or perhaps he could ask Sungmin to come and hang out for a bit.

~

Leeteuk put his things into the trunk of his car before he got a message from Sungmin asking if he wanted to hang out later.  A smile made its way on to his face and Leeteuk asked where Sungmin was because he could grab him on the way to pick up some lunch.   When Sungmin said he was currently at the mall, Leeteuk nearly laughed.  He had no idea how Sungmin managed to be in similar places to him all the time.   It was a little strange, but Sungmin didn’t seem to be following or stalking him, so Leeteuk chalked it all up to them having things in common.   He sent another message saying he would meet Sungmin at the store he was in, and to give him about ten minutes as he was in the parking lot. 

After making sure that he had locked up his car, he walked over towards the elevators.  Everything happened so quickly, and he found himself pulled backwards and pushed into the back of a black car.  He tried to regain his senses as he felt someone move on top of him, touching him, and ripping open the button-down shirt he was wearing.

“You should be mine. I realized how much of a fool I was, and I can’t stop thinking about you?” Leeteuk heard the voice and he knew that voice, but he couldn’t place it at the moment.  Right now, his mind was gripped with fear as he pushed against his assailant.  “Stop fighting me.”

Those words made Leeteuk fight harder as he felt his pants being undone and a hand sliding into his pants, gripping him hard.  “If you keep this up, it will hurt a lot worse.” The voice said and even with the blackened windows obscuring his view, he could finally place it.

“Henry? What the hell are you doing? Get off of me.” Leeteuk whined in pain as Henry grabbed him tighter and caused some pain to the area.  He trembled but did his best to wait for his opportunity to fight again and tried not to move as much.

“Good.”  Henry continued moving his hand before removing it.  “You know, it doesn’t matter as after this, you will realize that you still want to be with me.”

Leeteuk moved to push against him, but Henry was faster and turned him over on to his stomach, yanking his pants down, and smiling as he ran his hand over his ass.   “I’ve wanted this for so long, Teukie.  I just keep thinking of how beautiful we were together and how much I wanted this.  It was my fault for being taken in by her charms, but I want to make it up to you.  You just need punished for leaving me for that Sungmin guy before anything else.”  He reached over and grabbed the bottle he had brought with him and popped the cap open.

“Please stop… please…” Leeteuk was frantic and in tears as he tried to open the other door and alert someone to his presence.  He kept hitting it and the windows praying that someone was going to their car and could at least call security before he screamed the word ‘no’ as he felt one of Henry’s fingers slip inside of him.

“Mmmm, when is the last time you were fucked?  It seems like it has been a while and that means you haven’t been fucking that asshole who stole you from me.  I bet you are incredibly pent up and can’t wait for release.” Henry said adding more lube into Leeteuk with another finger.  He didn’t want to hurt him when they finally came together, and he knew once the main event started Leeteuk wouldn’t be crying in fear but pleasure.   “I think you  have enough lube inside of you now.”

Leeteuk was crying harder as he kept hitting the window while hearing Henry undoing his pants.  He felt hopeless, defenseless, and he braced himself for something that never happened.  Instead, he felt cool air on his body and heard the sounds of someone being punched several times before he was pulled out of the car.  
  
“Shhh… it’s ok baby.  I have you.” Sungmin said holding Leeteuk close after pulling back up his pants. Sungmin looked at Henry and planned on getting revenge for Leeteuk.  He didn’t care what influence Henry was under but at the same time, he realized that Kyuhyun was reaching higher levels of instability.   The only thing he could hope was that the shock of what he had almost made happen to his friend would be enough to get him to stop using the damn diary.  Even if it was for a little while, they could use this as an advantage to get Ryeowook to act and get closer to Kyuhyun. 

Sungmin pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind and helps Leeteuk over to the older’s car.  He got him into the passenger seat and took Leeteuk’s keys from him before driving him home.

~At Kyuhyun’s House~

Heechul was sitting in the livingroom working on his biology assignment while Kyuhyun was working on his musical theory one.  They both engaged in tiny bits of small talk while focusing on their given assignments and sharing snacks.   It had been a while since they were able to just sit in silence and just work like this.  The whole thing would’ve been even better if Leeteuk was here working on the books for his shop, but the other male stated he had to go shopping for his date.

Kyuhyun looked over at Heechul and couldn’t help the slightly fond smile on his face.  There was a point where he had thought about dating Heechul, but the older male never seemed interested.  It also didn’t help that he hadn’t really wanted to date at the time and didn’t want to use Heechul just to take away the loneliness or for his selfish desires.

It was funny how time changed people.  He didn’t want to use his friend, but he was willing to ensnare a complete stranger?  It truly was hilarious.  As he re-read the last part that he wrote, a loud banging was heard on his door.  One of the servants answered the door and in stumbled a teary-eyed Leeteuk, who had just said goodbye to Sungmin.  Leeteuk hadn’t wanted the other male to see him such a wreck and Sungmin agreed to go and file a report on what he saw.

Both Heechul and Kyuhyun put their materials down and ran over to Leeteuk.  “What happened?” Heechul said after asking for some calming tea, warm washcloths, and a blanket for the oldest.

“H-Henry… he… he tried to… he didn’t manage to do anything.  I think I’m more shocked as opposed to angry or upset.”  Leeteuk said while shaking.  He might be angry or upset later, but for the moment, it was more shocking that this happened.  Henry seemed to be the type to retaliate financially and never once had he ever heard about this happening with him.  He wasn’t forgiving him and he was going to report him, but Henry had seemed a bit off.   For someone who always seemed to protect his reputation by dating guys in the shadows, it made no sense for Henry to attack him in a very public parking lot. 

Leeteuk took the tea and sipped at it seeming to go into himself.  The shock hadn’t left him yet and he knew he would break down yet again once it did.   Perhaps he could hire a security guard at his shop.  Yes, that sounded like a good idea.  He didn’t even realize that the cup had been moved or that he was falling to sleep in Heechul’s arms as the adrenaline from the day was finally leaving him.

Kyuhyun looked over at them and cleaned up his things.  “I’m going to run up and change into something more comfortable and I’ll be back down later.  Are you going to be ok with him?” he asked Heechul quietly and Heechul just nodded telling him to go ahead.

He grabbed his things and headed to his room before finally letting his true reaction show.  What had he done?  Kyuhyun swallowed the lump in his throat as he dropped his things on the floor.  The whole scenario didn’t even sound like Leeteuk’s ex and that prompted Kyuhyun to quickly find the diary.  What did he do?  Please.  Please. Please.  He really hoped that he hadn’t written anything and that Henry was just drunk.  Everything after his conversation with Ryeowook seemed like a blur.  All he wanted was to be able to share his own pain with someone and he truly hoped that he hadn’t done something that terrible.   He opened the diary before his hands clasped his mouth as he screamed into them.  No… no. no no no no.   Kyuhyun stared at his written words while feeling tears slide down his face.

 _Henry should catch Leeteuk off guard and try to force himself on him._  
  
Sungmin saves Leeteuk only a few minutes before Henry takes him.

Kyuhyun felt like he was hyperventilating as he realized that he needed to fix this or at least make them all forget what happened.  What if Leeteuk killed himself because of this?  He’d be responsible for the death of one of his closest friends and all because he was angry at Ryeowook.   All he needed to do was fix this and never use this diary again.  Never.   He didn’t want to hurt anyone else or be the reason he lost anyone he considered as family.  Kyuhyun took his pen and wrote something down before quickly hiding the diary away.

_Today will turn back to normal._

_Henry didn’t try anything._

_Sungmin didn’t have to save Leeteuk._

_When we all wake up tomorrow_

_Everything will be back to normal_

_BUT_

_I’ll remember everything I’ve done._

Kyuhyun sat in his room knowing at midnight, things will change, but he’ll remember.  He hugged himself closely and wondered if he’d ever be able to be happy… and if he could ever forgive himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The attempted rape scene will only be in this chapter. Most of the other chapters, while focusing on the six and whether or not they have free-will won't be affected by this chapter. 
> 
> For those upset with Kyuhyun's actions and confused about why he'd do something like that (he will do worse), I apologize now and in advance. If it seems strange for Kyuhyun to go that far, please re-read the conversation at the end of the last chapter and any Kyuhyun monologue when he starts thinking about being with Ryeowook / using the diary. This was not added for shock value, but as a part of Kyuhyun's dwindling mindset. Yes, it had to be something that would actually get to him such as causing strong mental harm much of which he is suffering from himself.
> 
> I will not add another tag to this story as I have warnings in the authors note for this particular chapter and there is a link to come straight down here before choosing to read. If you read both and can't read the chapter and prefer to wait for the next one, I understand. The next one will be posted next week.


	11. A Minor Haze

The next day felt as though there were thousands of tiny little birds flying by in Kyuhyun’s head. He wondered what was going on with him and couldn’t even bring himself to eat much as he looked into Leeteuk’s smiling face as he laughed at one of Heechul’s jokes over breakfast.   It worked.  Everything he had written into the diary had worked, and as proof, he could see the concerned looks of his friends as they talked about their days yesterday. 

Leeteuk had asked him if he thought that he was coming down with something, and Heechul placed a hand on his shoulder asking if he would rather just get some rest instead of attending classes today. Kyuhyun gave them a small smile as he shook his head.  His answers were short, to the point, and he couldn’t even bring his gaze to meet theirs.

Breakfast had passed with both of his friends giving him near constant looks of worry as he waved goodbye to them after telling them where he was headed.   Kyuhyun didn’t go directly to school that day, but instead stopped at his favorite place in the park to write music.  He had been hoping that writing a song or two for his classes would help ease his troubled mind.  Each song came out more depressing than the next, and Kyuhyun wondered if nothing would be able to change his mind.

Staring at nothing in particular, Kyuhyun tried to block the thoughts from his mind as Leeteuk’s tear-filled face kept popping up.  The rest of his day seemed to drag on, and he couldn’t even concentrate on his practice with Ryeowook.  Instead of his usual lack of concentration, he played almost mechanically and couldn’t concentrate on the song at all.   His voice was trembling, the mistakes seemed to pile up one after another, and then he stopped.   Kyuhyun went over to his things and stated he needed to leave, but not before he canceled the rest of his meetings with Ryeowook for the next few days.

Ryeowook didn’t say a thing as he watched Kyuhyun leave the room.  He could tell that Kyuhyun wasn’t as invested in their practice for today, and unlike the other two, he has a good idea as of why.  The small traces of darkness that he could feel when he had gone shopping, and the strange feeling that something had happened allowed him to check on the situation and realize something did.  No one could remember the events, but Sungmin had mentioned that it seemed more like a shroud of mist was covering his thoughts from the previous day. 

It had left them in a very precarious position as he realized that Kyuhyun had been so close to crossing, yet another of the taboo subjects he shouldn’t use.   The two main ones had been avoided, and yet Ryeowook could only feel more apprehensive and yet relieved at the same time.  Perhaps, they would have nothing to worry about and Kyuhyun would never again use that accursed object.  If that was the case, then all they would have to worry about would be anyone else finding it, but he could use both Sungmin and Hyukjae’s connections to Kyuhyun’s friends in order to find it.

All at once, Ryeowook had different thoughts entering his mind.  What if Kyuhyun sunk so far into depression that he did use it again?  Would he feel as though he couldn’t do anything worse?  The actions with the diary didn’t seem terrible so far, but they weren’t good either.  The power of the diary seemed to be in a chaotic state while being under the influence and used by such a broken individual.  Hyukjae had informed him of Heechul’s secret, but with the way their minds seemed to be changing to suit each other, it wouldn’t bode well to have Hyukjae push Heechul into bringing that situation to light.

The male played a few keys on the piano before deciding he couldn’t continue to work on his own performance currently.  Ryeowook wondered if maybe he should use that ability once more as it could be beneficial to this situation, yet he didn’t want to use that.  A frown appeared on his face as he packed up his things and wondered if there was anything that Sungmin could remember at this point.

~*~

Kyuhyun was staring out his window for the sixth time this week.  He needed to go back to school, but he had gotten a letter to state that he was currently in the midst of some important business and would attend in a few days.   Of course, it had been six days ago ever since he left Ryeowook in that classroom.  He was brought out of his musings by the chime on his phone. 

_Come to practice today.  I don’t want to fail because of you._

He looked at the message several times before stating that he’d be there around six in the evening and as an apology, he’d bring something for them to eat.   Once he replied, Kyuhyun put his phone down and went back to his previous activity of nothing.  There had been a point where he would just jump at the idea of Ryeowook requesting his presence, but at the moment he still had those images running through his mind and disrupting his way of life. 

There was no one that he could talk to about it either.  He couldn’t speak with either Heechul or Leeteuk, because it wouldn’t just be about explaining his grandmother’s last gift, but instead explaining why Kyuhyun not only owned the object but actively used it against them.  Kyuhyun laid back on his bed and then stared at the ceiling.   He didn’t feel up to practicing tonight, but what choice did he have?  His professor wasn’t going to accept the ‘I did something rather stupid with a seemingly all-powerful diary and then erased everyone else’s minds’ excuse anymore than his friends would.

_You could just use it on yourself and erase the pain._

The suggestion seemed to pop in his mind as though it knew he was going to go and meet Ryeowook tonight to work on his project.  It was surprisingly the first time that he had the thought, and it was so incredibly tempting.  All he would have to write is that he wanted to forget what Leeteuk looked like crying and forget his own actions of that day, but where would the punishment be if he could just get rid of his feelings?

_Why should you be punished anymore than you have been?_

A groan left his lips as his own thoughts seemed to turn traitor against his silent resolve to never touch the diary again, unless for a legitimately good reason.   Kyuhyun knew that using it to forget his wrongdoings would be the absolute worse thing that he could do.  What would he try next or who was to say that he wouldn’t do something like this again, but this time forget to write in something that could save one of them?    He was sure that this wasn’t what his grandmother had intended when she gave him the book.  If so, why didn’t she just use it to make his parents happy about the fact he received the inheritance instead of what they had done.

_The real question is why didn’t you?_

It was that thought that had him getting out of bed and tossing his pillow across the room.  How was he supposed to know the diary had even worked then?  He blocked the supplied thought before it could form and yet the question was still there.  His first true test of that book could’ve been to make his parents give up their frivolous lawsuit before it had reached that far.   Another true test could’ve been to write that none of the money-hungry students could have approached him with their intentions.  They could have been called away by a professor or something so that only true friends and those that wanted to date him for himself could get close.

There were so many things that he could have done and it wouldn’t have included writing to hurt his friend during a period of weakness and pain.  However, he kept asking himself:  Would anything have changed?   This was the real, underlying problem that he found himself faced with.   Even if he had done everything that way and confirmed the diary’s powers, what would he have done when he met Ryeowook that first day?  Would he have let everything go or would he have pushed to use the diary on Ryeowook as though the mysterious power was nothing more than a second skin or extension of him?

Kyuhyun closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  He searched his mind for answers that were a mystery to it.  If he had to be honest, he wasn’t sure that he would change a thing about what he has done and that thought scared him more than anything.   How long before he took things too far and would he be ok?

The sky outside slowly began to change from light to the slight darkness of the early evening and Kyuhyun knew that he had to get up.   He moved quickly, showering, and then saying goodbye as he drove to one of his favorite restaurants.  Not sure what Ryeowook ate, he took an educated guess and thanked the staff for the food before heading over to the school.   His only hope was that he could perform at a satisfactory level.

~In the practice room~

It had been a couple of hours and their project was no where close to being as complete as their first one had been.  The normal awkwardness that surrounded Kyuhyun being in Ryeowook’s presence seemed to be replaced by a heavier air of unanswered questions and depression.  Half-empty food containers had been placed on chairs, bottles of water tossed into the recycling bin, and nothing other than the frustrated sounds of Ryeowook’s head hitting the keys was heard.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ryeowook asked.  He didn’t truthfully want Kyuhyun to misinterpret this act of kindness as something other than concern for their project, but this wasn’t working.   A twinge of something went through Ryeowook, but he simply ignored it for hoping that Kyuhyun might misinterpret it anyway so that they could get back to work.

Kyuhyun shook his head.  “I don’t think it is something that I can talk about it.  My head just doesn’t seem to be in the moment, even though I know we are beginning to run out of time to get our performance in order.”

A sigh left Ryeowook’s lips and he turned towards the younger male.  “If you don’t say anything or talk to anyone about what is on your mind, we will never be able to finish this performance nor repeat our first.”

There was silence before Kyuhyun copied Ryeowook’s sigh.  “Even if I explained it, I don’t think you would understand.”

Well, that was a start.  Ryeowook looked at him.  “Why? Do you think I’m a virgin or something?” he asked and Kyuhyun coughed on the water he just took a drink of.

Kyuhyun’s eyes looked up at Ryeowook with shock and blush painted on to his features.  “I… well… I wouldn’t know and… I mean I am, but I don’t think you are based on that statement.” he said and shook his head.  “It’s not a… a problem like that.  I just…”  Another sigh left his lips as he quickly went over the problem in his mind.  How do you explain something like this without giving away too much information?  

“I ended up hurting someone I cared about with my words.” Kyuhyun decided to begin with as it was the easiest way to admit using of the diary without actually admitting to its usage.   “It caused some tears and feelings of guilt, but the next day, they acted like nothing had happened.  I’ve been feeling guilty for everything I said, but all they do is show concern for me.”

Ryeowook was quiet for a moment as he processed all the information from everything Kyuhyun did and didn’t say.  He had been right when he sensed the darkness there.   If he could decipher it correctly, Kyuhyun did use the diary against one of his friends in a way to make them go home in tears.  His eyes closed to hide their dark nature as he pieced together a scene of that day. 

Sungmin had complained of a phantom pain in his hand as though he had hit something really hard, but rather than something, it was probably someone.  A small jolt caused him to quickly pull back his truth as he looked at Kyuhyun.   If Sungmin had punched someone, it was probably in defense of Leeteuk and if Leeteuk was in tears when he came home, then it was a pretty safe guess as to what Kyuhyun had done.

Ryeowook internally frowned at the idea that Kyuhyun had progressed to memory manipulation, but as it wasn’t one of the main taboos, he couldn’t classify it as an act beyond saving.   On the other hand, he found one of his complications at the same time. With Kyuhyun’s own admission, Ryeowook realized why the diary might be affecting people in the way that it has.  This complicated things especially if the diary’s usage was how he managed to lose it.

“See? I told you that you wouldn’t get it.” Kyuhyun said as depression started to leak back into his voice. 

He had taken too long.  Ryeowook looked up into Kyuhyun’s face as he saw the darkness almost caressing the skin of the younger male like an old friend.  “It’s not that.  I was thinking about the different times that I have gotten into a fight with my friends.  I could never state that I’ve never said anything that didn’t hurt them.”

Ryeowook licked his lips, unaware of how Kyuhyun’s eyes had watched the action.  “They have gotten concerned for me as well after I had done things that I shouldn’t have done.  My best advice is not to focus on it.” he said and then looked at the time.  “Let’s practice a bit longer a different day.  I just realized that I have something to do at home.”

Kyuhyun blinked and watched as Ryeowook got ready before thanking him for the food as he packed up what Kyuhyun had gotten for him to eat.   Ryeowook would never tell the younger that he had somehow guessed his favorite foods.  As he was about to leave, he stopped at the door staring at Kyuhyun packing up his things.

“Kyuhyun, I lied.  The best thing I could say right now is that if something causes that much guilt, maybe it shouldn’t have been done in the first place.  It sounds like a given, but in times of desperation, we are all tempted to break the rules of our own molds.  The only way we save our souls is to fight that temptation with everything we have.”  Ryeowook said knowing that might be a bit too cryptic of something to say, but he couldn’t come out and say what he truly wanted to.

There was a nod from Kyuhyun as he acknowledged what had been said without it seeming like he had truly heard or understood Ryeowook’s words.   “Ryeowook, do you want to go grab coffee or tea or even food with me sometime?” Kyuhyun asked as though he was trying to regain a bit of his former self.

“I don’t want you to misunderstand Kyuhyun. I was asking out of concern for our ability to deliver on our project, but I am not sure we could be friends and I have no interest in more than that.” Ryeowook told him.   “I’m sorry.”

A hum came from Kyuhyun as he watched Ryeowook leave and then waited a few moments before he left himself.  His mind was full of contradictions and one question that seemed to push past the rest.

_If you’ve already crossed one line, what’s the harm in crossing another?_


	12. Jealousy

Kyuhyun felt he was getting well acquainted with the view of his ceiling today.   His mind was filled with thoughts of his own actions and the cryptic words that came from Ryeowook’s lips.   There were times where Kyuhyun felt that Ryeowook knew more than he was letting on, but he convinced himself that it was his own paranoia at having a power that honestly no man should.  He turned to his side, hugging his pillow, and staring at the drawer that held the diary within it. 

Once again, he found himself faced with the decision to use it on Ryeowook.  It was almost as though he needed to at this point, but he couldn’t bring himself to force Ryeowook to do whatever he wished.  No.  Not yet.  A broken chuckle left his lips as he thought about it his hesitance.  He had been more than willing to use it on others for a simple test of its abilities, but he could not use it on the one person that he should want to use it on.

_Just use it. You’ll be happier then._

The words were pushing against his mind as he moved on autopilot.  Sometimes it seemed as though power seeped through his hands whenever he held it.   He was a master of destinies.  He could do nearly anything he wanted and yet he only wanted one thing, something he couldn’t have.  Kyuhyun knew that he was overthinking it, but even as he opened to a crisp, clean page of the book, he couldn’t bring himself to write down his partner’s name.

Did he not want to be with Ryeowook enough even though the other male consumed most of his waking thoughts?   Did he secretly hate his friends who had done nothing more than support him since they had all moved in together?  They asked for nothing and yet he had already hurt Leeteuk several times, and he forced Heechul to reveal a secret to someone the other male wasn’t even acquainted with beyond the few moments that said male might have been in the check out line.

He was willing to force them into situations that they would never be in, to experience horrifying memories that they would never remember, and yet he hesitated at doing the same to Ryeowook.  Kyuhyun could almost laugh at his own hypocritical behavior.  The potential feelings of a stranger were more important than that of his friends who stuck by him during some of his darkest times?   Is this what they had meant by him becoming obsessed with his illusion?

It would be so very easy to write a one-night stand in the diary and have Ryeowook forget everything the next day.   He could write that they went out for drinks, lost their inhibitions, and in the process, he’d lose his virginity to someone who would never even remember.  The pain of those feelings could easily be offset by writing in the journal that he was fine with how the events transpired. 

_If you are willing to do that, then why haven’t you used it to get rid of your crush?_

The thought hit Kyuhyun faster than he would’ve like it to and he briefly wondered why he hadn’t just done that when it seemed as though thoughts of Ryeowook were possessing him in a way that was neither healthy nor needed.   As easily as he could force Ryeowook to be his for one night, he could also use the same power to ignore any intimate feelings towards Ryeowook and absolve himself of this whole issue. 

With his pen against the paper, Kyuhyun once again hesitated in writing those exact words.  In fact, he didn’t want to write anything that could potentially lead to the loss of his feelings for Ryeowook.  While it would be simpler and he could focus on using the powers of the diary for good, he also knew that should he do this, it may be impossible to find someone who set his soul aflame in the same way the elusive singer did.

Who could ignite such a passion, and would he ever find someone who would do it as smoothly as Ryeowook had done effortlessly?  The doubts that plagued his mind caused him to put the diary back.  There was the possibility that he could reverse his affections if he regretted the decision, but if he had made it so he didn’t feel the same for Ryeowook, would he even want to?  The risks were too great for Kyuhyun, and he knew that he needed to get away from the diary for now.   If he stayed in the same room, there was no question as to the things that he may decide to do with it.

It could be anything and everything from simply forcing Ryeowook into a date or making Ryeowook completely obsessed with him to the point that he was nothing like the singer he wanted.  What would be the point if he couldn’t have Ryeowook the way he wished?  His grandmother’s words were swirling around in his brain about taking what he wanted, but still he hoped the diary would be his last resort before it could be anything else.

Call him crazy, but there was still the part of Kyuhyun that believed in falling in love mutually and it was that part that had kept Ryeowook safe, for now.   He decided that he needed to go and practice his songs, and he texted Ryeowook that he would be practicing today for his solo song.  If Ryeowook was free, they could practice their music together.  Kyuhyun didn’t wait for an answer as he showered and headed to the college to find and lockdown an empty room.

~*~

He was one hour into practice when he decided to stop past the cafeteria to get himself something to drink.  Heechul was in class and Kyuhyun didn’t know the person working behind the counter, but it was clear that they knew him.   As he tuned out the flirtations of yet another gold-digger, Kyuhyun caught something out of the corner of his eye.  It was Ryeowook, and he was walking with some tall male having what seemed to be a pleasant conversation.

Kyuhyun felt a bit of anger boil in his stomach, though that could’ve easily been indigestion, he preferred to think of it as anger stemming from his jealousy at what he was witnessing.  He walked away with his drink after paying for it, and did his best to stalk Ryeowook and this other person even while reminding himself about how crazy he was acting.  When Ryeowook started to turn his head, he slipped into the doorway of a currently unoccupied classroom until he heard the sounds of their footsteps again. 

“You know, you seem to be a bit preoccupied.  Do you have someone else occupying your mind?” the male asked Ryeowook and there was a small chuckle from Ryeowook’s lips.

“No.  I am simply debating on whether or not I wish to go practice for my music class today. I apologize if it seems my mind was elsewhere, Siwon.” Ryeowook said with an unbothered tone.

Siwon flashed Ryeowook a smile.  “Oh, that is fine.  I just wouldn’t want to cause any issues if you were seeing someone.  I know that lovers can be jealous from time to time.  I had a crazy ex once and it didn’t end until they were put behind bars.”

Ryeowook simply hummed, pressing his lips together in a thin line, and continued to walk with Siwon as he had the conversation.  It was a little worrisome for him with Kyuhyun in possession of that journal, but he hoped that his words were getting through to him.  If Ryeowook was being truthful with himself, he expected to be compelled to spend time with the depressive male today, but nothing had happened.  It was almost enough to get his hopes up, but he had seen one too many fall to the power of dangerous artifacts and lose themselves if not worse.

“Ryeowook?” Siwon asked when he felt the male was staring off into space and no longer paying attention to the conversation at hand.

A little twitch came from Ryeowook as he was pulled out of his thoughts and he focused again on Siwon.  “I apologize.  I guess I was caught up in my thoughts again.  It has been a busy week.” he said smiling apologetically.

Siwon just chuckled.  “It is fine.  Would you like to go out for coffee or something sometime?  I know a great place that makes the best coffee cakes.” he said and Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed from his hiding place.  It was clear that this Siwon was interested in Ryeowook and he was not happy about this development.  The burning feeling within his gut and chest seemed to get stronger as he hoped that Ryeowook would see past the guy’s flirtations and turn him down as he had turned Kyuhyun down so many times before now.

There was a pregnant pause as Ryeowook thought over the proposal.  It wasn’t that he had not noticed Siwon’s flirtation or the way the male seemed to keep bumping his arm on ‘accident’, but he wasn’t interested in him.  Siwon was direct, honest, and thus far he was showing a great deal of respect for him.  It wouldn’t hurt to simply go out for a coffee or even agree to meet for a meal in the cafeteria here at the school.   There was something holding him back, but he wasn’t sure what it could be.

“Sorry, was that too forward? It could be just something to get to know each other as friends.  I realize that may have come off a bit worrisome especially since we haven’t been speaking for very long.” Siwon amended and once again flashed Ryeowook his seemingly perfect smile.

His lips tugged into a small smile of their own as Ryeowook looked up at Siwon.  “Yeah.  I’d like that.” he said not feeling the need to clarify it was only as friends.

“Great!” Siwon said and said his goodbyes to the singer as he suddenly realized he was almost late for a lecture. 

Kyuhyun had slipped down another hallway the moment he heard Ryeowook say yes to the proposal and used his knowledge of the school to go back to his music room.  It was with anger and jealousy that he played the piano, nearly slamming his fingers down on the keys, and creating a sound that was harsh on the ears.  It was a sound that seemed to promise despair and destruction to whomever the sound was aimed at, and if he was asked later, Kyuhyun would state that he didn’t even know how he knew the song.

~

Ryeowook walked back towards where Kyuhyun said he’d be practicing with many things on his mind.  He wasn’t sure why he accepted Siwon’s request when he wasn’t interested in him beyond simple conversation.   It didn’t escape him that Siwon may try to use this to get closer to him in a romantic capacity and he wasn’t searching for a relationship at this time.

He was also curious at his own actions.  Why would he accept this from Siwon, but refused to accept the idea of a simple coffee with Kyuhyun when both harbored the same intentions?  It made no sense and yet in his defense, Ryeowook knew of several reasons why.   Siwon was straight-forward in the way that he knew what he wanted and was going to pursue it.  He had a goal in mind, and he pushed for it. All of that information had been easy to tell within their first meeting.

Kyuhyun… Kyuhyun was different than Siwon.   The younger male had no goals or ambitions.  He was easy to read and yet complex at the same time, a trait that Ryeowook begrudgingly admired.  They were both open books, but Siwon’s book was opened to an exact page while Kyuhyun’s pages changed with the breeze.   On the surface, Siwon was a good-looking man with no fantasies about life and what it has to offer.   He was who he was and there was nothing hidden or different within his soul.  Ryeowook was sure he’d make a partner quite happy one day.

On the surface, Kyuhyun was attractive, but just below the depths of his eyes, Kyuhyun was a kaleidoscope.  He was broken from the events of his life, distrusting, isolating, but in that same spectrum he was warm and caring as shown by his care for his friends.   With that diary in his hands, Kyuhyun was damaged and easily corruptible.   Each day was like playing a game of roulette for wondering if Kyuhyun would break the two biggest taboos in his quest to obtain him. 

Ryeowook knew he needed to get that diary from Kyuhyun soon, but he was worried about how he’d respond to getting close to Kyuhyun.  Would he be able to focus on his mission to obtain that accursed artifact or would he be drawn into its power?   His mouth twitched as he wished Kyuhyun’s friend had simply taken his innocence as then the strange changes that it was causing would be minimal, non-existent. 

As he approached the music room, he heard the sounds coming from the piano and his body stiffened.  Where had Kyuhyun learned to play that song?  Ryeowook’s eyes began to turn from that of a normal human to pools of darkness.  Black tears slid down his eyes causing cracks in his perfectly formed mask as a terrible shriek escaped his lips.    Within moments, Hyukjae and Sungmin were at his side.  Their own bodies trembling at the terrible sound coming from the music room as they shared a look between them.

Sungmin quickly scooped up Ryeowook and led him away from the room until the sound could no longer be heard.  The cracks within Ryeowook’s mask seemed to heal on their own as the darkness receded back into his eyes until they looked normal.   Hyukjae quickly handed Ryeowook a vial of black liquid that he greedily swallowed before sitting up and giving himself a few moments, before reassuring the two that he was fine.

This.  This was the problem with Kyuhyun.  His emotions would lead him to knowledge that he shouldn’t have or know.  Ryeowook wasn’t sure if Kyuhyun would ever remember the song or what caused him to play the hauntingly, horrid melody, but he hoped that it never happened again.  He felt the buzz of his cellphone in his pocket and it was a message from Kyuhyun stating that he was tired and heading home to rest.  They could work on their assignment another day.  Ryeowook read the message and had no idea why the idea of it served to irritate him.

~*~

Henry looked at the woman lying at his side.  He couldn’t seem to find any reason to want to keep her around with the current thoughts that were dancing around in his head.  The woman turned, placing her hand on his chest, drawing circles as she asked him what he wanted to do for the day, but Henry paid her no mind.   All he kept thinking about was that he needed one more chance to try and get Leeteuk back. 

The entire situation was weird for him as he had never cared to pursue someone, especially another male, to this extent.   Realistically, he realized that his entire problem dealt with the matter of having unfinished business.   Every other time that he had done this, it had been easy to get the male he was seeing at the time to the point of bedding him.  It would happen a few more times and then he’d leave the guy and come back to the woman who was currently in his shower. 

It always worked perfectly until this time.  Leeteuk was open, honest, and eager to have someone who enjoyed the same things as he did.  As Leeteuk was a small business owner, Henry had actually found Leeteuk’s skills of conversation to be quite eloquent, and it was a nice change of pace from the usual partners that he had chosen to use to settle his urges.   The only problem with Leeteuk was the man wasn’t someone to just rush into a quick relationship that led to sex by the third or fourth date.  He took his time to get to know someone, and for them to get to know him.

Henry liked Leeteuk and if he had those inclinations for more than a quick romp in the sheets, he could see building a relationship with Leeteuk.   In fact, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t do that now.   He watched his partner move around, placing on her things, and adding a obscene amount of accessories with her outfit to ‘show off her status’ to people as though most of them cared.   This was his life, but could it be more fulfilling with someone like Leeteuk by his side?

He should forget about Leeteuk, but he wanted to settle the curiosity and feelings that seemed to manifest from short-lived relationship.   Henry did not like losing, but he liked wondering ‘what if’ even less.  As he kissed the woman back while she left to do whatever it was she did on these days, he closed his eyes still trying to come up with the perfect last plan to get Leeteuk back and make Sungmin go away.


	13. A Minor Shift

_Today was the day and Heechul walked towards his class trying to take these last few minutes to go over his notes.  All he needed was to ensure that whatever partner, he managed to get for the lab portion would be able to follow his lead or be comfortable enough with the subject matter on their own.  If he could pass this class, then he was guaranteed to be accepted into the accelerated classes during the next semester._

_He walked into the room and everything seemed dark.  Was he in the wrong place?  Heechul looked around before everything turned on, as he was told that he passed the test and now he needed to do the lab.  What?  His partner turned with a smile, and he found himself smiling back.  “Ready for your next test?” he asked and Heechul looked at him confused.  Was there something he forgot to study for?  It would take him years to graduate if he failed something now._

_When he looked up, Hyukjae had placed his hand on his cheek and was leaning closer to him.  Heechul blushed and leaned into the kiss with Hyukjae.  It was soft and sweet, only to be interrupted by the high-pitched sounds of a baby crying.  He broke away from Hyukjae wondering where that sound was coming from. It felt familiar, like something he should know, but he pushed aside that feeling before turning back to his partner.  Rather than Hyukjae’s normal face, the one in front of him looked gray and it was wet covered in various plants with a look that it had been decaying for quiet sometime._

_~_

Heechul woke up with a scream and looked around his room.  Upon recognizing where he was, Heechul laid back on his pillows as he waited for his heart rate to go down.  His dream was much too strange for him to forget, and there were too many elements that made him feel frightened.  He could understand the pressure of having a big test and having to do a lab right after.   It was no different than what any college student might feel.

No, it was the stuff concerning Hyukjae that made him take pause.  A test? Sure.  A lab with Hyukjae as his lab partner?  Well that was already true.   A kiss? They’ve shared several in the cafeteria during that one strange day.  From what he could remember, neither him nor Hyukjae reacted to the sound of the baby crying with the exception of looking for where the sound came from as it should not have been in a lab.   Heechul frowned as he thought of the baby’s cries and how he wanted to comfort the child along with the feelings that had come from it.   Something about the child called out for him, and he wanted to find the child as soon as possible.  It was turning back to Hyukjae that he found himself questioning a lot.

In his dream, Hyukjae was dead.  He was in a later stage of decay and Heechul could only guess that he had died through drowning.  Now, whether it was a murder, suicide, or accident, Heechul couldn’t be sure.  The logical part of his mind was reminding him that Hyukjae couldn’t be anything but alive, and yet he quickly sent a message to Hyukjae asking if he was alright.  There was no answer for several moments and Heechul could feel anxiousness beginning to build within his chest causing slight pain.  Why hadn’t Hyukjae answered him yet?  Did his lab partner die in the same car as a child?  The moment Heechul went to dial his partner’s number, his screen lit up with his partner’s name.

“Hello.  I’m so happy you’re ok.” Heechul quickly said into the phone and then he realized he sounded much too frantic and way too worried.  Hyukjae was probably wondering what was going on or questioning Heechul’s sanity.   Heechul was expecting to hear words of shock, surprise, or worry for his mental state, but instead Hyukjae just softly chuckled.

Hyukjae shifted his position from where he was lying on his bed.  “Hi.  I’m glad you are happy that I’m ok.  Are you ok? You seem a bit shaken up.  I think we still have a few hours before we have to get to class.” Hyukjae said with a slight bit of amusement in his tone.  He made a note to speak with Ryeowook concerning Heechul’s frantic call before he headed to his classes.

Heechul wasn’t sure where to go with the conversation from here.  While Hyukjae didn’t seem as though he minded the call, and if anything, happened to be amused by it, Heechul couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling within the pit of his stomach.  “Do you want to grab lunch with me in the cafeteria before class?”   The words from Heechul’s mouth sounded foreign to his own ears as he didn’t want to acknowledge the shaky, unevenness of which he spoke.  There was silence on the line and Heechul wondered if his request had been too much, but he didn’t rescind the invitation as he wanted to see him.

“I’ll pick you up for school today.  I’ll be there in an hour.” Hyukjae told him and Heechul felt relief flooding through his veins.  “I need to get ready for the day, so I will see you soon.”  They said their goodbyes and Hyukjae stared at the now black screen of his phone.  There were two possible options for Heechul to call him frantically and neither of them worked in their favor for obtaining the diary.

The atmosphere at the table felt tense as Hyukjae was sipping the large glass of black liquid watching the reactions of both Ryeowook and Sungmin.  “I don’t think Kyuhyun has done anything more against you and Heechul.” Sungmin broke the silence as both Ryeowook and Hyukjae looked at him for clarification.  “Well, when you think about it, if he had, then you’d probably feel the encroaching darkness that follows him and his actions.  You said you felt overall fine, but I’m not convinced that the diary has nothing to do with it.”

“How does that make sense?” Hyukjae asked him as he was nearly finished with the glass.  “It was strange of him to call out of the blue.  His breathing was uneven, and his voice held a distinct mixture of fear and concern.”

Ryeowook had remained silent, but he was wondering about the phone call as well.  It shouldn’t feel so out of the ordinary, but there was something strange about the call.  “Ask him if he will tell you the dream.  It would be our best bet to figuring out what had shaken him up.” he said, but he worried that he may already have an idea.  This incidence was different than the previous incidences that they had encountered so far due to usage of the diary, but if the diary was evolving further, then they would need to be prepared for the inevitable.

~

The cafeteria was unusually quiet today which only served to further cause Heechul’s anxiety to rise.  The lack of sound was akin to death, and yet he knew that it was all in his head, his dream.  He didn’t realize that he had zoned out once more, eyes fixated on Hyukjae’s plain colored shirt, and hand dropping a little with the bite of food slowly sliding off back towards the tray.   Hyukjae had looked normal upon arrival as Heechul had subconsciously tried to confirm his dream wasn’t a reality.  Of course, it wasn’t, but his mind was urging him to believe in its validity.

“Heechul, you’re zoning out and staring.  What is going on?” Hyukjae asked with a tone that was imploring yet laid back enough that it wouldn’t cause the male in front of him to freak out.  Dark eyes were suddenly staring into his and Hyukjae took a good look at Heechul.  There were lines of stress etched out around his eyes and there was a weariness in them that he couldn’t explain.

A quiet sigh left Heechul’s lips.  “You will probably find me crazy for this, but I had a nightmare or something last night.  I’m not sure. It felt both real and unreal as though it was something only my mind could make up, but at the same time, it feels as though I’m being urged to accept certain aspects of my dream.   These pieces are what I have no explanation for, and yet I feel as though I need to have one.  I’ve based my entire life off wanting to work in the science field, but what am I to do with something that doesn’t fit into the logical realms of science?  How am I supposed to accept this?”

Heechul didn’t give Hyukjae a moment to answer as he continued.  “In my dream, it was time for one of our final tests that would determine if we could continue on with the program or if we would need to retake the class after a semester or two for another shot.  I had been going over my notes and hoping I got a lab partner who was at least competent for the second half of the exam.   When I got to the room, I had some how already passed the first part.  The professor instructed me to go to my partner which was you.”   At this Heechul seemed more hesitant and worried about the potential implications of his next words, but he needed to get this out.

“Everything was going as normal when you suddenly asked me if I was ready for my next test.  I thought you were referring to the lab, but instead we… we kissed.” Heechul had a light tint of pink to his cheeks, but he didn’t stop there.  “I wouldn’t have been so alarmed by that, because we have before and it would only be natural for my mind to pull that back up in my dream.   This kiss was sweet but interrupted by the sound of a child crying.  For some reason, I didn’t freak out about the sound of a baby in a biology lab, but I felt I needed to attend to it.  I turned back to you.  I am assuming it was to ask you about the sound, however when I looked at you, it was different.  Rather than the way you look now, you were grey, covered in what seemed to be aquatic plants, and you looked like you had been in a later stage of decay from being underwater.  When I woke up, I freaked out and immediately called you to ensure you were dead in a river or lake somewhere.”

Heechul didn’t say anything while he let Hyukjae take in everything that he said.  He had to admit that it sounded strange and crazy to his own ears once it said it out loud, but Hyukjae hadn’t run from the cafeteria calling him a bunch of names, so it was going better than expected.  Heechul knew that Hyukjae could take his time thinking things through and so he focused on his food, appetite coming back after confessing the contents of his dream.

Hyukjae felt cold, but not due to the fact that his partner dreamed of him dead or heard a random child in the classroom.   All he knew was that something was incredibly not right with the dream, because Heechul should’ve never had such a specific dream like that.   This conversation is one he would have to have later with the other two about the effects of the diary on those closest to Kyuhyun.   For right now, he needed to reassure his partner.   “Well, I can’t say I’ve ever heard of that when people have dreamt of me, but have you considered it might be caused by the stress of keeping your secret?” he asked him.

“No.  I should have thought about that possibility, but as I told you, my mind is trying to convince itself that the dream is real.   A stress-induced dream sounds much more plausible and I guess I just need to get through our test in a few days and it will go away.” he told him and Hyukjae nodded in agreement.

There was something calming about talking to Hyukjae, Heechul realized.  He didn’t feel judged or burdened when talking with him about certain things.  Had this been Kyuhyun, Heechul would’ve stumbled over his words, come up with an excuse, or completely changed what had happened in his mind and dream as to not display himself and his mind in such a way.  However, with Hyukjae, he was perfectly fine, even with the hint of hesitation, to explain it to him.  It made him wonder if he was finally over Kyuhyun.

~*~

Ryeowook glanced at his phone before starting his song over once again.   Kyuhyun was supposed to be taking notes on his performance the first two times, but as usual the male had spent eighty-five percent of it staring at him.   “I know that you find it hard to concentrate when you are around me, but I do have somewhere to be this afternoon and so can we hurry this up.”

Kyuhyun seemed to snap out of his thoughts as he looked at Ryeowook.  “Sorry, did you have somewhere to be today?” he asked as though he missed that part of his sentence and the air was suddenly filled with silence. 

Their thoughts centered around the man that had found Ryeowook to his liking.  For Ryeowook, he was simply looking forward to having coffee with a friend, but for Kyuhyun, he was wondering how to keep them apart.  There was a danger to allowing Kyuhyun to know what he had planned, even if he suspected that the other already knew.   A part of him had hope that Kyuhyun wouldn’t break the diary’s taboos, yet he was cautious given the information he had found out about Kyuhyun.

“It seems I’m not the only one who spaces out.” Kyuhyun said to him and Ryeowook seemed to break out of his thoughts.  “I have a lot on my mind lately.  Part of what I had mentioned to you before, and part something else.  We haven’t been able to practice as much as we had for our first performance in the class, and so I think it might be best to practice a little longer.”

There it was, a hidden mischievous little tone behind what sounded like a student concerned for his grades.  Ryeowook felt himself stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place as he thought over his options.  If Kyuhyun was willing to work a bit harder, then they could finish in time for him to meet Siwon for what he was assured was simply a meeting as friends.   On the other hand, he could just leave the practice, but that may lead to more irrational behavior from the male sitting in front of him.

“I have to be somewhere, but if you can concentrate, then we can continue.” Ryeowook said.  It was a middle ground.  The simple agreement to follow through and stay in Kyuhyun’s presence provided that he actually worked on their project.

Kyuhyun took it as a victory though he also had plans for this afternoon.   He was supposed to go and meet Heechul later for them to hang out, but the longer he could keep Ryeowook here, the better he could potentially ignore the calls to use the diary on him.  The hesitation he showed still made him question the truth depths of his own feelings, but the hope that he held on to was dwindling with each passing day as the feelings seemed to become less controlled under the circumstances.

He left his thoughts and forced himself to concentrate on Ryeowook’s performance making notes about the other’s stage presence even as he found himself entranced by the sound of his voice.   There was something magical about the way that Ryeowook sang that had nothing to do with his crush.  It was controlled and yet filled with uncontrollable emotions that made it hard not to fall victim to its sweet sound.  

The moment was broken when Heechul came into the room.   Ryeowook took that moment to check the time only to realize he was late for his meeting and bid farewell to the both of them as he gathered his things and left the practice room.  He told Kyuhyun they’d be able to meet for a little bit in the morning to go over the notes that he had made before working on his part of the project.

After he left, Kyuhyun just went about gathering his own stuff and still not acknowledging Heechul who had broken the moment he was having with Ryeowook.   He had noticed how late it was getting, but Ryeowook seemed to be willing to stay provided he was working solely on the assignment.  It had been a true test of multi-tasking but he had managed to somehow control the urge to simply lose himself in Ryeowook’s performances like he had done so many times prior.   He knew that he had no right to be angry with Heechul, but he found himself trapped by it.

“Why did you have to interrupt at that moment?” Kyuhyun asked and there was a hint of bitterness lacing his tone though he tried to hold it back.

Heechul looked over at Kyuhyun, an annoyed look briefly appearing on his features at the question. “Well, you were supposed to meet with me about an hour ago.  You didn’t send me a message saying something had come up or if you were waiting at home instead.  Of course, I’m not sure what I expected but to see you in here, drooling over your partner yet again, even though I’m sure Ryeowook has made it clear that he has no interest in you whatsoever.”

Kyuhyun bit his tongue just a bit at that.  “How would you know if he had interest in me or not?” he asked Heechul with a frown on his features.  “We’ve spent a lot of time together for our class.  It’s… It’s possible.”

“Is it?  Right now, you sound no different than all those gold diggers that were chasing after you and pretending to be your friend just so they could get close to you.”

“Oh? You mean like you?” Kyuhyun asked and the moment he said those words he regretted it.  The look on Heechul’s face made him want to erase the memory of this fight.

Heechul stood up from the chair he was sitting on.  “I was never like that, but how did you find out about my feelings just to throw them back in my face?”  There was pain written on his features as clear as day and Kyuhyun took a step forward to comfort his friend as Heechul took a step back.  “Tell me Kyuhyun!” he yelled at him.  “Who said something?  Was it Leeteuk?  Hyukjae?”

Kyuhyun took another step forward as Heechul took another step back and he just stopped.  “I didn’t know until just now.  I don’t even know why I said that.” Kyuhyun said dropping the hand that was reaching out towards Heechul.  “Heechul, I… why didn’t you say anything?”

“What would be the point?  When I met you, everything in your life was a mess.  I went to say hi, and you gave me the most resigned look like you would’ve just given up and accepted just about anything.  I didn’t want that.  Hell, I never even planned to tell you.”  Heechul said as he tried to keep himself together.

“So, you planned on lying to me like I was nothing but a joke to you?” Kyuhyun found himself on the defensive suddenly as he listened to Heechul.  What if this was the reason that Ryeowook had definitely decided to stay away from him?  Even if it was his fault that Heechul told Hyukjae, he had never written in the diary for Hyukjae to keep Heechul’s secret.

Heechul blinked, his eyes not letting the tears fall, as he just looked up.  “Really? Is that what you really took from that and our friendship? Or was it the fact that it finally registered to you that I told Hyukjae, and you’re mind just automatically jumped to Ryeowook?”  Shaking his head, Heechul wiped his eyes as he turned.  “I love how my accidental confession led to nothing more than you obsessing over the potential reasons that Ryeowook doesn’t like you, when it is very possible that he’s just not interested!”

“Or you’re just jealous.” Kyuhyun shot back.

“Yeah because your issues are my problem, right?  I’ve been a good friend to you all this time, but no, I’m just jealous.” Heechul said with the hurt still lacing his voice as he left Kyuhyun alone in the classroom. 

Kyuhyun stood there, allowing the guilt to eat away at him, as he watched one of his best friends run off.

~*~

Hyukjae sat across from Heechul in a little café and watched as the other sipped his milkshake while trying to come off as less miserable than he actually felt.  All he knew was that Heechul had a fight with Kyuhyun and nothing else.  It had been strange to see Heechul crying more than once in a day.  The first time had been earlier when he picked him up from school.   Even though he had gotten Heechul to focus on it as nothing more than a dream, Heechul had cried when they met up as though he hadn’t been able to shake it.

They had gone to class together and Hyukjae did his best to keep Heechul’s mind off of it, but he had noticed the stolen glances that made him think Heechul was trying to find out if what he saw was real.  His instructions were clear to play it as normally as possible as Ryeowook and Sungmin hadn’t been sure whether the diary had been involved in what Heechul had seen.  There were other alarming pieces of Heechul’s dream, but Ryeowook held hope that Kyuhyun wouldn’t take this so far.

It bothered him the amount of hope that Ryeowook had in the clearly unstable virgin.  Time and time again, he had shown himself to be impulsive by not thinking of the consequences of his actions.  Hyukjae wasn’t even talking about the minor things like the unintended backlash he had caused against a fellow student for simply asking the wrong question, but issues that had Sungmin binding himself in a way to Leeteuk as a means of protecting him from the encroaching darkness.

The entire idea of having hope for him was lost on Hyukjae as he tried to decipher Ryeowook’s reasoning.   Once more, he had tried to explain that perhaps the best way to get to the diary was to have Ryeowook actually get closer to Kyuhyun, but it seemed like Ryeowook was almost afraid to do exactly that.  It angered him that they were taking so long on the mission, and at the same time, he was falling for the male in front of him. 

He wasn’t sure.  Maybe there was something he was missing in the fact that Ryeowook wouldn’t do anything about Kyuhyun.   Hyukjae wasn’t stupid.  He knew that the diary was integrating itself more into Kyuhyun’s mind with its seductive power, and that removing it with no regard to Kyuhyun or his feelings would be incredibly stupid of them to do.   However, it didn’t mean they needed to ignore the things that he was doing or continue to give him cryptic warnings not to use it.  For someone who has never tasted such power, the diary was seductive in so many different ways.

Hyukjae was brought back to the present when he heard Heechul’s voice thanking him for the milkshake.  “You don’t have to thank me.  I’m just worried about what made you this upset.” he told him and Heechul stared at the table.

“Do you remember my secret?”

“Yes.”

“Kyuhyun found out by accident.  He was supposed to meet me, but he was busy making Ryeowook late for something or just wanting to spend time with him. In truth, I’m not sure.  We fought about it, and he accused me of only becoming his friend for money or that’s how it sounded.   I easily went to defend myself against it and confessed.   I told him that I had never planned to tell him because everything in his life was a mess at that point and I didn’t want to add to his stress.”  Heechul said while putting his head on the table.   “He asked if he was nothing more than a joke to me and I responded angrily. The only reason I could see for him being upset was that he realized I told you about my crush, and he feels that might be the reason Ryeowook won’t pay attention to him.”

“Or Ryeowook isn’t interested.” Hyukjae mentioned to him.

Heechul nodded in agreement. “I have tried to tell him that, but he seems fixated on Ryeowook for some reason that I can’t figure out.  It’s almost like he’s drawn to him and he can’t pull himself away from it.  There are times I feel he seems to try and pull away from it but it the feelings just get stronger instead.”  A laugh came from Heechul, but it was out of disbelief instead of humor.  “My entire major is based on reality, and yet here I am contemplating that something impossible is what's really going on.”

Hyukjae hid his alarm well as he would need to report back on this, but what if he was worried for nothing?  Better safe than sorry, he thought as he tried to give Heechul logical explanations for everything from being stressed to the fact that maybe Kyuhyun was fixated on Ryeowook because it is the first person who hasn’t really shown him much attention.  There was a part of him that wanted to say he should stop being friends with Kyuhyun, but that would drive Heechul away and somewhere deep inside of him, he didn’t want that.

~*~

When Heechul went home that night, he had to admit that he felt better than he had before meeting up with Hyukjae.   _I think I like him.  I think maybe more than I liked Kyuhyun._ Heechul could only smile at his thoughts as he walked into the house.   He saw Kyuhyun sitting on the couch with a bag of his favorite sweets and an apologetic look on his face.  Heechul walked over to him and Kyuhyun hugged him with bits of tears in his eyes apologizing for earlier and saying he didn’t want to lose him. 

The feelings from earlier were still there, but Heechul knew they could work on it.  Hyukjae was probably right and Kyuhyun had been through so much.  It would take a bit of time before he fully forgave him, but he still cared so much for his friend’s well-being.  Heechul finally hugged Kyuhyun back and they had a nice long conversation about everything getting it out on the table.


End file.
